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1- I am and have always been an egoist. This is what comes along with my nature: my desire to receive- pleasure (and to avoid pain) always for myself, unfortunately, even to the extent of exploiting and harming others.
2- However, I’ve learned that my “PIH” Point in the Heart has awakened! I know its awakened because after having investigated so many “paths” I’m here studying Kabbalah!
3- I’ve learned that while my “PIH” is an egoistic desire it is also a very special desire. It is my highest level of desire; it is my desire for Spiritual fulfillment. That if I nourish and nurture my PIH, it affords me the opportunity to climb up the “Spiritual Ladder” (following a path of reshimot), to ascend 125 degrees, and to re-connect (as an integral part of Adam Ha Rishon) to my Spiritual Root in Binah in the World of Atzilut.
4- This must be done consciously of my own volition (as there in no coercion in spirituality).
5- Therefore, I have two choices choices:
(a) Be a slave to my ego: Follow a very slow and very painful evolutionary path to my final Tikkun (correction) to Spiritual Fulfillment.
(b) become a servant to the Creator: Study Kabbalah; and follow a much more rapid and far less painful path of return.
I choose (b)!
Hopefully with the right books, right teacher, and right Kabbalistic Group I’ll be able to connect with the friends, build an Altruistic INTENTION, (a Masach) to Receive for the Sake of the Creator, and become as a “conduit” for sharing Reforming LIGHT– Feeling and Revealing the Creator—facilitating the repair of the shattered Soul of Adam HaRishon of which we are all an integral part.
The importance of connection, the absolute necessity of true connection. What I learned about myself? I have sort of been a one man band for a while, somewhat self-opinionated I suppose and how difficult it might be for me to get close to one who has a totally different world view. The idea of sharing desires and mutually helping one another to progress sits much better. For all that I will come into contact with, patience, understanding, and feel free to shout at me.
I like the idea that we are all united as one, and that each one of us is also a small world by himself, ie a fractal of humanity as a whole. I was also very excited to hear about the role kabbalalists play in the cultural history of the west. I suspected this for a long time but lacked the perseverance to investigate this historical enigma in a more thorough way. I also enjoyed reading the thoughts of my fellow students and wish them a strong desire for self-improvement and a lot of perseverance in pursuing their spiritual goal. May you all find the path beautiful and interesting to follow. May you find the peace you long for yourself and the world.
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