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Hallo, Roy big greetings! Reading what you wrote i can say that i fully understand you. In a way i had a similar feeling when i came home. Because, from the environment where you live where you share everything where you are all as one, you come back and release that you do not feel comfortable because people are alienated and you are simply not happy even though you are at home. On the other hand you now that you have left people you are connected to and you feel them anywhere you are. And in the end you realize that you are not really at home and you want to be with friends no matter how dangerous it is. And it’s really hard for anyone to understand who wasn’t in the army like you wrote nicely. I can only tell you that the only thing that matters is going further and adjusting so that we are happy. And not healing and not thinking about what has been but what will be, new desires, new happiness. It all takes time and faith in yourself. And when i read Kabbalah i look at things from a different angle. Life experience and empathy(that i thought always brought me bad) now i understand differently. And when i just think that I’m just starting to get acquainted with amazing things, I’m overwhelmed with happiness because somehow there is no end, everything is infinite.
The main reason is that we have moved away from the nature of which we are an integral part. Ego has grown and thus we have lost each other.
We must first be honest with ourselves and know ourselves as a person. And to know what our desires are.
