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Baal HaSulam says that all the distinguishes one person from another is the level of the revelation of evil. Evil means the property that is opposite to the Creator. The Will to Receive, which is our property, was made 100% opposite to the Creator’s quality of bestowal. Now, what confuses a person, and how every person has deluded themselves into thinking they’re not so bad, is the shattering by which a spark of bestowal was mixed into the Will to Receive, and now is used by the Will to Receive, in order to receive even more. Therefore, each thinks they have at least some good in them. But actually that’s even worse that just being a Will to Receive. And there isn’t a spark of bestowal that isn’t mixed with reception in a way that the reception is in the driver’s seat.
I can only come to true bestowal with several alignments. I need to be aimed at a group of Kabbalists because what can I actually bestow? The world is as the Creator makes it. He left something for me to do or change in it? No. It’s already in perfect order. Not in the order I would like it, but in an order guiding everything to perfection, as quickly as possible, according to the constraints present in the Thought of Creation – that everyone would reach the perfect state through free choice, and so on. Therefore, what can I bestow? I can only disturb. So, I need a group of Kabbalists, I need to depend on an Upper Force – not like me, but a force of pure bestowal; not like me, weak, truly powerless, but a force of limitless power. Then, in that group – because they WANT to reach bestowal – I can help them in this, and since they want it and the Creator also wants it, that can be called bestowal, when I help it to happen.
To start with, the minimum is agreement with everything coming from the Creator, and even giving gratitude for it.
I don’t know what brings Him contentment until He is revealed as a friend sitting across the table from me. Until then, I need to try to fulfill His plan, as much as I understand what the Kabbalists say about it. So, I heard that He is happy when I just want the goal to happen, and help it to happen, for others, for whomever would give the Creator the most contentment. This is how we come closer and closer to bestowal, which would mean bestowal outside myself, with nothing back to me, not even the knowledge that I’m giving contentment. When I truly have the spiritual Screen, I can also know how and in what I give the Creator contentment.
It all comes together. But what’s a realistic way of dealing with things, that won’t be based on some strange belief system? Meaning, can I gain something by taking a certain axiom and basing my actions on it? I think for now we have to work in two directions. There is None Else Besides Him – inside I think about this – while behaving as if there is no Creator in reality. And it doesn’t matter that I’m facing before me a world made up of the many kinds of intentions that exist in me. I still need to exist in it. And most of them do not belong to the part of humanity that can work together with me in trying to change the intention to bestowal.
I don’t think we have them written but they’re just a quick summary of maybe the first 20 articles of Rabash. Nullify myself so that I can actually hear the words of the friends and follow them back to the Creator that speaks from their throat. Saying the words is one thing but until they enter the heart…
