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I think you may enjoy Introduction to the Study of the Ten Sefirot by Baal HaSulam. It explains the whole process we go through. Nothing I’ll say will compare to learning from Baal HaSulam but I can say that the milestones, if you will, are straightforward: try to connect according to the advice of Kabbalists, reach “don’t do to another what you hate,” and later “love the other and you love yourself, that is, with all your heart, soul and might, and when you do your love of the Creator too will be complete.” But humanity hasn’t even begun.
You can’t because Kabbalah doesn’t run in the family nor does it crossover the way other common interests do. The Point in the Heart emerges by the Upper Force, one doesn’t know why, and as long as it’s awakened, it’s the sensor with which one appreciates Kabbalah. This point fell from the Upper World Kabbalah writes about, and this Point longs to return to its root. But if this Point is not already awakened in the person causing them to search for Kabbalah, you can’t interest them in it more than in a passing, superficial way.
Assuming we feel ourselves as 100% reception, without a shred of bestowal within us, that that is our essence and nothing besides, then what we discover lies beyond this is only more and more of that desire to receive, which was concealed from us before. Because the desire to receive is our capital, our dry field, which can be turned into a vineyard. It can be inverted into the Creator’s (opposite) quality. The more desire we have, the more we can invert, and the greater the revelation of the Creator accordingly. But we are not even in that preliminary state where we discover to what depths we are a Will to Receive. We don’t know that about ourselves; we think there’s something more to us than this. But as we study Kabbalah, the Light works, and it reveals this to us. Knowing this, believing it, isn’t enough, we have to feel it.
No we’re not all-powerful. We’re very weak. And completely controlled by the Upper Force, which controls us in concealment. This makes us even more weak because we believe from the bottom of our hearts that we are in control and free. That’s a double concealment. We can’t talk about what we could become after the Light works on us and many corrections through it, because we don’t feel that state, it’s imaginary right now.
Hi Hing,
What you can bestow to friends is the importance of the spiritual goal, which is the only thing the Creator can’t do for them. He could do it, just like He gives you the Point in the Heart, but He won’t. Once you’re in the group it means you want a higher level of advancement where you depend not on the Creator but on His representatives, the group of students that He awakened. You have to help each other, and that’s the only thing in the world you can do for now that will be considered somehow close to true bestowal.
It’s never good to take a break from Kabbalah, but you could read a different kind of text. For example, if the head is not working, work with something more emotional, such as the article by Baal HaSulam, There is None Else Besides Him, or the book Attaining the Worlds Beyond by Michael Laitman. Besides, the Light actually works on us even better when we’re confused, then our ego isn’t as much standing in the way.
