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I can’t use the edit function, so the best I can do is to reply to my post and add the edit here…
All that is required of us in order to “get in touch with the upper force and act with it mutually”, is to take the first active step of applying the intention to do it, to begin to apply a Masach to our Kli. It’s not a matter of how much or how well we manage to use Masach correctly or effectively, or how much we do so. It’s a matter of actively applying our intention to seek attainment of Equivalence of Form.
Hopefully, this makes better sense than what I wrote in the post above. – I apologize for the double post.
All that is required of us in order to “get in touch with the upper force and act with it mutually”, is to take the first active step of applying intention to do it, to begin to apply Masach to our Kli. It’s not a matter of how much or how well we manage to use Masach correctly or effectively, it’s a matter of doing it, of actively seeking to attain Equivalence of Form.
I know I don’t express this eloquently, but I hope it makes sense.
Thank you so much for providing me with this answer, Albert. As you could no doubt tell, this is something that has weighed heavily upon me and caused me to question my ability to keep up and doing things right.
Now I can move forward with a much lighter spirit!…
Just a little bit from the first video under this week’s Related material:
Gil Shir (KabU instructor) describes how the 5 greatest Kabbalists through time, those who brought Kabbalah into a new phase five times through the history of mankind, began with Adam, then Abraham, and on through Ari, and finally… Baal haSulam!
When I heard and watched the time line of this, I realized that we, who are students of Kabbalah today, right now, live in a very unique, special time in the Journey of Mankind. I was born four years after Baal haSulam passed on, just in time to become a student of Michael Laitman, who is the one that brings the message out in the open public space so that everyone who wants to (everyone who has the Point in the Heart) can study and transcend all the way up the ladder to attainment of Equivalence of Form with the Creator.
Seeing and hearing this is of such particularly special meaning to me because I struggle a lot with self doubt, constantly wondering if I have been wrong most of my life when I was waiting and looking for the time when I found somebody who would and could teach me Kabbalah (I have “known” Kabbalah was key to my ascent since I was 28, and I am 65 now).
When I came upon a movie about Doc. Michael Laitman and his life’s work, what he has taken it upon himself to dedicate his life to doing – sharing kabbalah with, and making it accessible to, the world – I knew this was it. The time and the opportunity to do what I was always meant to do had finally come knocking and was standing at my door step. So of course, when I found out about Bnei Baruch and KabU, I jumped at this incredible chance.
And then what happens? I find myself thinking I can’t do it, I have build too much baggage, my ego has been given complete control, and I’m just not good enough to handle it and get through or passed it all.
This has been going on literally every week, but every time when I’m at my worst and feel most low, a new understanding (a transcendence) has happened during my work with the material, and I have been able to continue and understand that I am meant to do this, even if I still wonder how I will be able to do it.
There is always the possibility that I will fail, but I keep finding more proof that I have been right about Kabbalah being the way I am meant to travel, and so I will keep doing my best to succeed – not only because I want my own suffering to not having been for nothing, but because there have been times in my life where my own suffering was “extended” to and affected others negatively, simply because I was so sure I was meant to survive and become a force for good in the world.
One last thing I would like to mention: I have heard it mentioned a few times that those of us who have a very large ego shouldn’t be so sad because our Point in the Heart might also be large, and our drive to make up al 125 steps and attaining Equivalence of Form may be larger as well. This may be true, I can see a logic in the argument, but there is also the fact that the stronger forces you are dealing with, the greater the damage you can achieve instead of what you hope for, is also greater. Indeed, Doc. Michael Laitman mentions this as a fact in the second video on the Related page.
I apologize for taking up so much space, and promise to not make a habit of it.
I wish for my fellow students that they will achieve their greatest wish, and I hope that wish is – like my own – to obtain perfect Equivalence of Form with the Creator.
I hope it will be a satisfying, and – for the main part since it’s not possible all the time – joyful journey.
I wish for us all that we will be able to feel the great, spiritual reality that awaits beyond the limits of the first 4 phases.
I wish the best in every possible way for everybody who studies with me now, as well as for everybody who began studying before we did, and those who will begin studying after us. – Allow me to extend my best wishes also to our instructors, and to Rav Laitman.
There was one thing that resonated with me in particular, and it was when we were told that it is a common experience among Kabbalah students to have periods where we feel we aren’t only not advancing, but we are even regressing.
This was so important for me to learn about this because it is exactly how I have felt these past couple of weeks.
Not only have I been falling behind (for reasons I won’t bore people with), but my PTSD has reared it’s very intrusive, ugly head to a degree such as I haven’t experienced since I was in my teens and my twenties (I’m 65 now), and I’ll admit that there were moments when I actually became quite frightened.
Now I am hopeful again. I have even posted a question, asking if I can continue to study (not get kicked) even though I have difficulty keeping up with the reading material. I know, if I get a positive answer, it will be easier for me to eventually catch up because the stress from feeling I have to hurry and read faster is actually making the whole thing worse, it slows me down even more.
There is a test this week that I haven’t been able to complete. It is the picture with 15 pieces of text and drawings that relates to Kabbalah. We are asked to tag at least 12 of these, but I could only tag 10 because I can’t see what the text says in several places (I am slightly vision impaired, and I also live in a very dark location).
There was a drawing that I’m pretty sure depicts connected dots within a circle, and with a piece of text with the word Kabbalah beneath it. But no matter where within that picture that I clicked, the engine gave me a yellow exclamation point (instead of a green tag or red minus).
There was also a picture that could look like a single Kli, but I came to the conclusion that it was most likely a cup of coffee (and there was another picture of four or five Kelim which I had already tagged).
I apologize, and hope that you will forgive me, that for the above reasons I was not able to complete this week’s tests.
