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Thank you. Is the feeling of quilt or sadness when witnessing others hardship my ego as well? I will definitely continue studies here.
I want to complete this circuit. I know my ego is the dimmer switch. I understand and accept this as truth. I am overwhelmed by what must be accomplished.  I know God hardened Pharaohs heart so that he could destroy his army, and I understand this picture of the ego, but after the red sea there was 40 years and an entire generation that could not enter in. Including Moses himself. Its seems like such a massive mountain to climb. How does one let go of even the stresses of this material world that will hinder learning to be a Giver? I understand that we are all one soul. If I let a homeless man sleep on the street this winter while I own a home with empty floor space I am not Giving to God. If I let 20 people sleep in my home but I do it because I want to achieve this circuit then I am still not Giving to god. How do I achieve this perfect love? I desire to see Gods face in everyone I see. How do I die to self?
To be free from the blinders that are hindering my perception, and to be able to feel and act according to the truth. To be able to rest in the knowledge and understanding that choices I make, and the actions I take are pleasing to the creator. To further my understanding of how to become more like the creator so that my receiving will become more clearly comprehended and will allow me to become better at giving without self interest.
I have been raised Christian. I have struggled to follow the teachings of Jesus. I have had times that I was sure that I could never fall into old patterns again only to fall again and again, until my hunger was gone, and my faith turned to fear. Having lost my hunger for reading the Bible and praying I was worried and sad. Hoping against hope that he would help me to reconnect. Then one night I experienced something I can not explain. Physical and spiritual at the same time. A bolt of energy up my spine into my mind.. Since that moment when I read the Bible I see things that I have never seen. My hunger is stronger than ever. I started looking at Jewish teachings after realizing Jesus taught that the keys had been hidden. How could I have missed this all those years. I started realizing there were hidden teaching even in the Gospels. This is when I discovered Kabbalah. “Love thy friend” Somehow I Know that I will only be content when I am who I was created to be. I desire to become a Giver. I desire to crucify my “self” so that I can learn to Give out of Love for the Father. Only to please him and not myself. I am so grateful that this platform is online.
Good afternoon,
My name is Paul,
Thankyou so much for providing this platform. I had an event 2 years ago that I cant explain . It was sudden and it has changed me forever. It sent me on a search for truth. I am still a Christian but my understanding has changed dramatically. I discovered Kabbalah in my search for truth and seeking to see deeper into the text and numbers in the Bible. Love they neighbor/ friend as thy self. I desire with all of my heart to master this.
