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While reading the assigned texts and trying very hard to intellectually understand the ?” mechanics ” of the Kabbalah, I had a moment of total frustration and anger ( the black cloud!).
I questioned everything.
Stream of consciousness as follows :
This is crazy !
This is gobbeldygook!( madness)
Why would anyone make anything so completely counter intuitive and unachievable?
How many people have made it to those spiritual levels since the dawn of time?
100? It must be pretty lonely up there !
If this is how enlightenment or spiritual ascendancy is achieved, it makes no sense…it is at every turn a Catch 22, you can have X but you need X before you can get X !!
(Catch 22 : is an impossible situation because you cannot do one thing until you do another thing, but you cannot do the second thing until you do the first thing. From the novel Catch 22 by Joseph Heller ) .
You must become like the creator to know the spiritual world …but you cannot do that because you are at your core the opposite of this creative force.
You must be like the creator to attempt equivalence of form , but he will not reveal himself to you until you have at least a degree of equivalence of form ??
I think I have an understanding and then I read a new piece of information and Im utterly confused.I wander in and out of despair as I ponder the utter impossibility of actually achieving any of these levels.
MMMM maybe Ill do that Ancient History Course instead!In this frame of mind I began the final reading from “Attaining the Worlds Beyond ” and strangely it was as if it was written exactly for me and no doubt for many other students, both historical and current
; ” when with our entire being we feel that we have exhausted all possibilities and all powers , only then do we realise that only creator can help” Pg 431.I do not believe in the scheme of world history, my attempts to reach the creator are in anyway comparable to the many who have gone before me, saints , sages and wise men, and of course those who still search today …. My efforts are minuscule by comparison.
However I understood in that flash of insight that this is the circle you must travel again and again to an understanding of your place, an understanding of the enormity of the ?? creator, the force of nature we are longing to know & rejoin, and how hard it is for us to grasp that force and go with it.
There is no way to “think” yourself to that understanding.
I had a profound sense that the journey will be long and I will have many more moments of despair, anger, darkness, but my thoughts are…. what other path would anyone take ? the light is the only way.We can get in touch with the upper force and act mutually with it by:
– observing the creators will and creation in the world around us and seeing his desire for bestowal….for ” good”.
-Ensuring our acts and intentions are as like the creators as possible.
-Not allowing the ego to distract or trick us into diversion & digression by feeling either intellectual triumph or doubt about the creators continuing concealed existence.Our attempts at equivalence of form give us the experiential understanding of how truly difficult it is to act without the control and subversion of the ego in every facet of our existence, they show us our true nature.
After trying our best to achieve equivalence of form and failing, when we are in darkness and despair …the cry of the soul to the creator for assistance and revelation.
This is the final appeal to the creator for his help to fulfil our desire to ascend the spiritual ladder and know him.
(” The Cry of the Soul is the most powerful prayer .” Attaining the World’s Beyond , Michael Laitman , PhD pg 431)I hope that all my fellow students feel connection to me and the creator so we can move towards spiritual fulfilment together .
Hi Kabu Instructors,
To move closer to the creator are we required to follow , as Jews do, the ” The 613 ways of the Torah” ( 613 Mitvah and 7 Mitzot De Rabanan = 620 ) ?? rules /commandments ?
These are mentioned as a sort of precursor to gaining spirituality ?
The text ( Kabbalah for the Student – Pg 228 & 229) goes on to talk about the 620 names of god ” the whole of the Torah are the names of God ” ….are these the same ?
A wee bit confused as they seem to be very different …one is a thing and one is a concept ??? or is this the Kabbalists not actually talking about physical objects but spiritual concepts?ie there was a statement ?? about Kabbalists never referring to events or objects in the corporeal world.
(apologies unsure exactly where …i think in one of the many video lectures Ive watched)
thank you
Molly
