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by seeing the good in every situation, the opportunity’s for growth, by striving to feel the creators intention behind the giving of the situation.
Best experience was feeling the warmth from the instructors and the willingness from the classmates. I expect to keep growing.
What has inspired me most in the course is how loving and tolerant the instructors are, and how inquisitive my classmates are. What ive learned about myself is that i really dont know myself very well, and that i dont like myself very much, and that i want to become something better.
What i wish for my fellow students is that, i hope that you are or can become the person you were meant to be, that you can find your true authentic self and share the joy and depth of that experience to others around you.
Hi,
I have had the feeling in my life at times, that im just living the same life over and over. That all the choices i made have already been made and im just living out the story of my life. and if this was eternity it would already be done wouldn’t it? it would be done as soon as it started, because eternity has no beginning and no end.
It would seem this is true, if the end is already determined, and for some reason im made just to experience the process.
I dont like this because theres been alot of pain and suffering in my own personal life. Even though i have a fantastic life and have been blessed with so many wonderful things and so many wonderful people, and if i were to live this life again i wish i could have enjoyed it more, and been more grateful for the things i had been given.
So i naturally really struggle with the concept of free will. I know that i really “feel” like i have a choice, but when i look back i question weather there was any choice at all, because if i were to live the same life again i would make all the same decisions.
and it seems to me both the path of pain and the path of light are confusing, because if its supposed to happen in a conscious way, then god wouldn’t be giving me directions like do this and do that, because that would be to easy and wouldn’t require any conscious effort. would it?
But i honestly just feel lost when it comes to studying kabbalah, and i understand i know very very little, only re watching the kabbalah revealed series from time to time and reading some of the books. But the books are also a hard read for me, very very hard for me to grasp what is being said. Thats why im taking this course.
I guess my question is basically, how can i ever be confident in my intentions? or have confidence that im ever doing the right thing?
Basic free will implies a choice, and if its as simple as the path of pain or the path of light, how can i even choose when i cannot see where im going? or if i cant escape always making decisions for my own well being, how could i ever be useful to the greater whole? I realize im a part of something much, much bigger. how could i feel that i was making a meaningful contribution? because i would only be helping myself, my greater self, as a cell in the body, but i guess im a cell that wants to feel the joy felt in the body. i want no just to see but feel the goodness of what i do, and even in that is a selfish intention. But if i could never feel i was doing good i could never “know”, and i would be stuck doing the wrong things, and im afraid of being a cancer.
just how do i go about receiving in order to bestow? If theres no action i can take that can change anything, then would the feeling just be “i accept my life because this is what god wants for me.” or “i will live my life and make “choices” in my life to my best ability because this is what god wanted for me.” or else why would i be here?
