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We get in touch with the upper force by doing what we were created to do. Receive. This then turns into pain, which eventually becomes mercy. We go through the natural steps of evolution and become spiritual. This leads us to a path similar or possibly Kabbalah (the easier method) because knowledge is not true wisdom. This leads us to start making the changes and wake up the point in the heart. When that happens it can grow, and the creator bestows light which we eventually stop rejecting based on our intention to bestow it for the pleasure of the creator. This becomes a working relationship with the creator and this leads to understanding Malchut must be reconciled. For it too was part of creation therefore it too must be loved and understood in a proper perception of how and what reality really is.
Although it is hard to explain, I learned that I am nothing but pleasure for the creator. There is no good and no bad. I learned that nature is working as intended and it is my true nature to be opposite the creator. I learned also that within this nature I perceive myself to be more important than I actually am which creates the Arrogance of the Ego.  This feeds into the illusion of free will. I also learned that through my intention (not my actions) that I can change my perception on who and what I am. And it is through this work according to Ba’al Salam Ashlag that I can correct all of this this lifetime.  I also learned that even though I know the solution, it will be a lot of hard work. What I learned most of all is that knowing this made me feel like I was somebody, like I was really something.  And that was revelation of my Ego needing to be dealt with again. I am fortunate to understand, but I hate my Ego. So revealing what I feel I may know sometimes makes me feel like I’m bragging that “I am knowledgeable”.  I do not want to feel this way, so I stay silent. I feel it is safe to say something here because here I am truly trying to learn not brag.  So asking questions or revealing what I have learned I do it in the best of intentions. I learned also that reading other’s comments can teach (especially the answers of the other students are given). I am here for at least another year I will see this process to its fruition.  I learned I am thankful for all the teachers and volunteers.
Aleph separates Mem from Shin, but its nature was to unify all during creation. This to me is our inability to sense the screen is not broken and Shin and Mem are unified but the role of Aleph is to show separation. The creator conceals this in Aleph but since Aleph is in unity with the creator it does not change, the key is the true nature of Shin (light). The phases of light bestowal in relation to reception blew my mind, since we are taught Aleph separates Mem from Shin
So is it that simple? Just accept that when I receive pleasure from something I understand its ok to take on the creators behalf and because of this I become more like the creator?  If so then some of us already have a screen or are developing one as we speak. My intention for life is always the will of creator before me, its what I live by. So is it possible my screen has already started developing or are we missing how this development of the screen starts?
I wish for you all to have the answers you seek and the fulfilment for the level of desire you currently need. I wish for you to feel connected with each other, have and understanding, and know why. I wish for you to feel the connection with the creator that you need so that your zeal is still present and that you never give up on the one desire for which why we are here. I wish for you to be able to bestow the amount you are willing to receive based on the amount of correction you have all made. I wish that you are able to make corrections needed to sense your screen. I wish for you to have a life that is both suitable and promotes spiritual growth always. And finally I wish for all of the things that are blocking you from spiritual growth to find a way out of your life, so that you can do what you were created to do which is receive infinite amounts of unending pleasures.
Somehow my response was posted in the preparation. It’s fine. I understand the lesson to a certain point. The concepts are quite not exactly new to me, however some things are a bit more defined as others are very vague. I find myself struggling mostly with the constant repetition; with not always a clear and concise answer. It reminds me of the old hermetic way of the flow of knowledge. The initiate never knew what they were actually learning until they knew. Up to that point most was a mystery and remained as such.  We have definitions but no real answers on how to get definitions to work in our favor. I know there is a screen but I can only develop a screen weeks maybe even months and many courses away.  If this is the way I will walk this path. I just hope the flow of information changes because right now all I’m hearing is that if i become a better person i become more like the creator which i can do without “enlightenment.  I want to be a better person anyway. What happens in Kabbalah that sets it aside from everything else. More than words what makes it the “only” way. I don’t mind supporting an organization that is actually what they claim. I just feel right now its just more literature to read and nothing spiritual is happening that wasn’t already happening. I hope this gets better over time, because I really don’t want to lose out on something that might be important. This is how strong “my ego” is, so to stay in this very class I have to constantly just silence it. I have grown to “hate” my ego. But these are Freudian terms that I’m referring to (selfish desires). If Kabbalah is right I know absolutely nothing about the spiritual, but I find myself really confused on this matter simply because I have been spiritual my whole life trying to form a connection with my creator. So i stayed in misery even with a good intention. I never wanted to sin. I just did
