[Rubi]

So, having this duality is normal and will always be there! I feel a lot better and at peace — and I’m actually smiling!! 😊

[Rubi]

Something similar happens to me, and the I feels justified so much.

And I find myself, whenever there is conflict, constantly fighting within myself. I rise above, see it for what it is
and from there no feelings are felt, there is only compassion and understanding.

Then, I come back down, pulled by the justifications of the I; they make sense and are compelling, oh so strong.

I want to not feel so strongly; I want to always stay above; I want to operate eternally from above.

Why is it ephemeral to do so? is it?

[Rubi]

I do this, and I can’t help to feel guilty and disappointed with myself as I think of all the different things I’ve brought up about my partner that I wish were different, yet I feel justified.

Though I’ve realized that this position comes from my ego, and every time it overcomes me, I see no way out. It’s hard not to judge myself for this. I want to have the strength and awareness in myself, so that I can rise above every single time I feel this attack. I want to have this habit of operating from that higher place, undoubtedly and wholeheartedly every time and treat him with kindness and respect and not hurt him or myself. I want to be that; I want to be all love, however it needs to come according to the moment.

[Author]

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