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I m really unsure about some of what is being presented. Is this really all there is? I m sure its true that the Creator is the source of all things – and there are so many other parts of the Kabbalah, all of which have additional and very beautiful spiritual wisdoms, that I wonder about the next steps as presented here as a narrow focus.
KabU says that there is only one, tiny, space where we have free will, and that is whether we choose to freely follow the will of the Creator.  Does it follow that the only way of fulfilling the will of the Creator is to work in a group of 10, focused on disemminating the work of KabU as the means of salvation ? Feels like a Catch 22.  And, if I question this, it s coming from my ego, which needs correcting by my group of 10. Feels like a catch 22, again.
Was it really
Later today comes my first first experience of being on a live seminar, & going into a group of ten. It is also the Winter Solstice, so the moment of least light and greatest dark. What a great place to start !
So far this course has made me aware of how I behave in my daily life, and its made me aware that its true, I really don’t care about others , and keep myself apart. Not that I like it, its a lonely place to be. I am painfully aware that on my own I do nothing to help the world, and am ineffective .  That’s my starting place.
What I m trusting is that, by being willing and open, having the desire to change this, that together with others all wanting the same, that “it” will begin to happen. What is this “IT” ?   I guess the working together so we join in intention & prayer, so leaving the ego behind & moving into a group mind, where we feel that our souls are uniting again as part of AdamHaRishon . I see this as probably our best hope of turning our planet & fellow creatures around at this precarious moment in evolutionary history .
Not that we can change it ourselves, but through heartfelt combined prayers we will be able to sense , allow, & work with the Divine Light that hears us & comes through.  There is a desire, which is dependent on what actually happens. And what happens ,I guess, depends on how well we connect and how in harmony are our desires.  If we are able to call up a sense of the divine presence, then our desire will increase, and has the chance to become firm trust & faith. This is the aim, and once we feel the effects of this connection , we will KNOW the truth of the Kabbalah. So may it be !
HI Gianni & Friends,
On 8th March 23, you answered Rae by saying “the ego’s job is to waste our time until we die”, or, until we make a free choice to………….what, exactly? I completely identify with this, and every night when I review what I’ ve done, I see I have wasted my time. SOOO frustrating its also comic. ( I imagine I m talking about it to the Creator, and He just laughs -it s funny, but also a very serious/deadly game if its probably terminal ) BUT – if you now say this is the job of the ego, why? Isn’t the ego s job to want to receive pleasure ? So how & why is it working to stop us making the choice to do the spiritual work. ? AND, most importantly, can you please describe/explain what making this choice means we have to do.? I mean, I m following this course & engaging with it.
What am I not understanding? I really don’t want to continue doing this UNTIL I DIE ! Maybe its to do with a real prayer, so how do I get from here to that?
This very brief introduction by Rav Leitman felt different, I “GOT” it differently, less intellectually, than up to now. In talking about the Light as the Womb, I suddenly saw that its ME in that womb, that I ve been kinda floating in the amniotic waters of amnesia, not yet having grown enough to be fully a baby, ready to be birthed into the upper worlds.
Inside the womb, developing from just a tiny point in the heart, the creature gradually becomes aware of its own existence, sensing & registering small amounts of experience, the experience of being developed , of learning to feel, within the womb of the Creator. I cant tell the difference, am I being created for the world, or is the world being created for me?
The way I desire the Light to evolve me, is to guide me to truly know that what I want is communication with the Light, and connection to the point of ONE-ness with it. And that this process is inextricably linked with the same process as with my minyan:- the micro & the macro
