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John,
First we are hoping that you get healthy and soon.
Second, you have found a strong group of students studying with our teacher Rav Laitman an authentic kabbalist who received the method from his teacher the Rabash who received the method from his teacher Baal HaSulam the great kabbalist back in an unbroken chain for 1000s of years.Our goal is not to suffer.
But we do need to grow, to develop.
On the one hand you need to do what you must regarding normal health. For example if a car needs an oil change or a new transmission, praying doesn’t fix that, you need to do what you need to do.
And also there is spiritual work.
I recommend that you take out a piece of paper or a journal and write down what is your spiritual goal.
It can be one paragraph or one page, be clear and accurate. Open your heart to what you want from that point that is awakening from that place.
We always need to calibrate ourselves to the perfect, spiritual reality that exists outside of our perception.
You are not cursed, it’s not a cruel game. These are our perceptions of how far we feel from the perfect reality.
After you write your spiritual goal, start speaking to the Creator like He is your best friend.
Tell Him that you want to be healthy so that you can be a pipeline for His light in this world.
Keep speaking to Him.
I hope to hear good news from you,
Seth@KabUShel,
It’s not common in public where we are teaching both men and women, that women will be teaching.
There are a few videos by Tal on our youtube channel, you can search on youtube for Kabbalah Info. You’ll see them there.
In Israel there are other women teaching courses.
Primarily men though.
Seth@KabUsaps,
It is fine to play with these kinds of exercises, all creatures play, it is how we learn.
Your practices will develop more and more, this is an art of the soul, you will be a craftsman of the soul.
Patience,
Seth@KabUsaps,
Those are features of this world.
In spirituality, everything is even, whole, equal in all directions at once. There is no place or past, present and future there.
Seth@KabUsaps,
It’s good that you are thinking about the material and working with it.
There is no choice yet at all in our story.
Everything that we are learning now in the phases of the direct light are like the upper, primordial software in order to arrive at a vessel that could yearn on its own for the complete filling of the upper light of ein sof. That vessel is called Malchut of ein sof.
This primordial structure of the root and the subsequent 4 phases will be the structure called HaVaYaH that will be the structure for all of the worlds and partzufim that will develop next until there will be a place for choice.Evil, is what the forces are called that are opposite/against connection.
While we are absorbed in the upper light, completely as one, we have no sensation of it, we are completely absorbed like a small spark absorbed by the sun.
So all of the forces of the other side that stands opposite from the system of kedusha is all for the purpose of building the feelings of yearning for the connection, for the love and wholeness. We will learn about it.
Seth@KabU
