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Zach,
What you are experiencing is very normal.
Here is what I recommend. Either take a notebook or a document on the computer, whatever you prefer and write why you came to the wisdom of kabbalah and what you hope to gain by coming to the wisdom of kabbalah.
Be honest with yourself.
If after this exercise, you feel that this is a good place for you to mount this path that leads to the Creator, then next write down a doable framework, whether it is 30 minutes a day or 2 hours a week, whatever works for you. You can always add in your free time, but make a time that you will not waver from.  Like exercise, or getting up for work, I do it whether I feel like it or not.
So I make a time to study and engage in the spiritual work and connect to the Upper Lights, whether I feel up and or whether I feel down.
This is the process of becoming more than just our animal body, that feels this way or that way, but we connect to the source whether the darkness shines or the light shines.
If you do this, you will begin to pass through the states (reshimot) quicker and feel your development happening more comfortably and swiftly.
Good luck and good question,
Seth@KabUManuela,
You are correct and you are correct about being confused.
It’s like a child in playing in the playground.
Before, in her mother’s arms, she had no free will, she couldn’t use her legs to walk yet. Then she grows and mom let’s her run around the playground. The child feels free, she can run to the sand, run to the swings, run to the other children, but mom is always watching and protecting.
Similarly, we feel free until we reach our next degree and look back and see how everything was arranged.
Being confused is natural since what we are discussing are eternal things and our mind is not eternal and to perceive eternal things, we need to use new vessels.
Seth@KabUHi Jonah,
I’m not sure what you mean.
Use the language from the lessons to ask the question so that I can follow what you’re referring to. I’m not familiar with new man spirit vessel. I think you mean new spiritual vessels, but I’m not sure and don’t want to confuse.Thanks,
Seth@KabU
