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Hi Zach. I am a student in this week’s class also and hope you don’t mind my input. I have had the same swings since beginning here at KabU for various reasons and the one thing that stands out in the material is that these doubts are given to us by the Creator to help us grow our desire for true Spirituality. Without the darkness you do not recognize the light. No rain, no flowers. And so it is actually a good thing that you question yourself as you will be that much stronger as you go forward. I have learned to thank the Creator for my obstacles, each challenge bringing us a step farther in our learning. It’s the hardest lesson so far. Take time for yourself, breathe, and be grateful for questioning. Open your heart to your answers.
It always goes back to Nature. And in Nature there are forces that we cannot identify with our corporeal 5 senses, leaving a vast unknown in our midst. Included in this unknown are things we might call mysticism, such as the influence of the planets on a person’s personality in conjunction with the time they were born. In our corporeal world we call it astrology. Hearing this to just be Nature from Rav Laitman opened a door for me that I had opened long ago and yet with my study of Kabbalah had to wonder how this was going to work out for me. Like someone’s religion I needed to be able to incorporate this important part of me with my Kabbalah studies.
This leaves the door of Nature open to other forms of what would be considered hidden, or mysticism, such as the so-called sixth sense of divination, and other phenomena, unlike the sixth sense we are dealing with in Kabbalah specifically. But as I struggled with some of these qualities I have in regards to my study of Kabbalah, I now realize that what I am dealing with is just Nature, other hidden areas of Nature that not everyone may be attuned to in their corporeal lives. Simple intuition that everyone has if they are open to it would be in this category. This Nature is a gift from the Creator and I am grateful for this week’s lesson that showed it to me.
My goal is to ascend the Reshimot of past incarnations and make the corrections needed to attain Gmar Tikkun in this lifetime as taught through Kabbalah.
It was a happy revelation to learn that what I thought were my poor choices in the past were not really my own free choices. It was only when the point in the heart was opened that I had the free will to choose the environment, the teachers, people, books that were the end goal of the life journey. Everything else before that were gifts given by the Creator to show me what needed correction, and finally how to work on it before this lifetime was over.
I think the point in my heart had been opened for a while as I explored the various spiritual opportunities and realized with each one that they weren’t ‘enough.’ When I finally begged the Creator to please show me the path I found myself at KabU. How grateful I am to be here.
Thank you Albert. I have read this page before but when you posted I started to feel bad, that maybe I was deluding myself. I had felt that the Creator actually had given me quite the gift in this incarnation, all the obstacles presented now seeming more like steps to get here. This life was filled with nothing but obstacles except for a spiritual essence that ran through it, just not clear how to use it or what to gain. Finding myself here seemed to give that clarity, and I have been joyful and determined. And feeling the touch of the Creator sometimes too. Feeling a little ascension across the barrier sometimes. Until I read how it wasn’t enough. I expect the Creator gave me this lesson too, as there is None Besides Him. And I will continue now, with Joy. Thank you. I needed that.
HI Albert. In your response below to Nick you say that being virtual 100% is not enough. Where I live there are no Bnei Baruch groups, just one of those Kabbalah Centers, which after studying their material I knew wasn’t correct for me. Nor am I able to travel. I did join the online zoom session for the first time last week and it was a good feeling to be among others on this path even virtually. I walked away elated. But that will likely be the extent of my participation with others.
I am a senior, likely one of the oldest people newly registered here, and I feel strongly that I am able to ascend and attain, that I can already feel progress in that direction. And I have long known that I am attuned to the spiritual environment and past incarnations. But your comment about this not being enough goes along with Rav Laitman’s comment on a vid I watched saying it will take 20-30 years of study concerns me just a bit. I do not have 20-30 years left in this incarnation and I’m not traveling anywhere other than spiritually.
I believe that everyone is at a different stage, different level in their ascent back up the ladder, even if they are unaware that there even is a ladder. And I believe that everyone must travel the road given by the Creator, as that is the correct path for each individual. My desire is strong, my intention equal. I do not want to feel that I will miss my mark as they say, because I am here so late in this lifetime and because my path is truly deep within myself.
