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Thank you Gianni for getting back to me. That was already really very helpful.
I went through your answer several times, and changed this text accordingly, because as I re-read, I felt most of my insecurities answered and that incredible sadness of maybe just not being right in Kabbalah kind of started to subside.
Still, what remains is this insecurity… if we all have the same inner work to do, still I understand we have to unite, to connect. In the mirror congress I felt that growing unity in the meńs group and the womeńs group and that complementation between both of the course of time. But how can I unite, if I am lacking the qualities that everyone else in my group has? If I cannot just „be“ with them. If I feel not like them. I mean, I really tried. But what made me so incredibly sad, was, to think, that with all my incapacities, I might hinder the others from progressing. That I might just distract or confuse them. How can I take responsibility to really be there for the others? How can I make sure not to be in the way of unity? And when do I simply have to step back?
It can’t be that someone who comes with a desire for the goal, hinders the friends’ advancement. It’s right that when I truly try to connect and to the extent of those efforts, especially if I try to with intention, I see that I fail, and I’m worse than others, and that it’s the Creator who has to be the glue. It is what’s missing rather than their being something wrong with you yourself. The connection is all that’s broken.
Gianni,you helped me so much with your answers. Now, just this last question, because I really hope I can work it out from there: This feeling of connection, and love, and unity that was so tangible in this gathering… is this the creator glueing us together, filling the gaps between us? Is this how he reveals between us? And in such a gathering, can I turn to him, asking to just help me give to the friends whatever I can in this moment, and leave the rest to him (and the friends)?
Dear Gianni, I don’t know if this question fits here, but I really, really feel I need to know… so maybe you can help along. I was at the Holland mirror congress and it was an amazing experience. I learned a lot these days, and to be in this place, made this really a practical wisdom. Apart from all study and learning , it was about building and passing on that energy of love and connection. And that was really, really tangible and such a gift. However, I felt how important it is that the male and female energy complement each other. And in this, I felt like a mismatched prototype. Like DNA and energy don’t match. DNA female, energy male. How can I work in a place that asks female energy, flowing like Bina, beautiful, soft , gentle… when I am opposite to this? You know, I really tried to stay focused on it, pass the energy on, mingle with the others. But it was exhausting. I felt like a stranger, attaining a world that is not for him, because it is designed the opposite way. Now, I feel the importance in this process, that the energies have to complement each other. And I don’t want to harm or lower that through being a mismatch. And as the creator is nature‘s law, and not a manager with a checklist… maybe I am not needed in this place. Maybe I should not be here, being so opposite to what I should be. Plus , corporeal life asks the opposite. I have to be strong, lead on, make decisions all the time, whether I want to or not. This contrast is kind of shaking me through like a milkshake. I want to serve the creator, do what I can. But… can it be that I am just wrong here?
Hey Verena,
I’m so glad you’re got to experience a convention. Thank you for your efforts.
But no it’s not that way. Male, female…from the teacher I can say confidently that you’re the same in terms of the inner work. Of course your work is at least as different as mine is to any other of the men friends. No one is alike because each is so unique. You can’t even say “so” unique but it is sui generis. Each friend irreplaceable, special, invaluable.
Please ask if you have more questions.
If all my actions and thoughts are given by the Creator and are not something I generate independently or possess as my own to return, then what remains for me to offer? Is my attitude—the inner response I cultivate toward Him—the only true gift I have?
Hi Gianni, itś been said that in each day, as we wake up, we have to „choose our friends“ again, trying to form the correct intention to turn to them. I am wondering now about two things. What happens when we sleep? Why do we loose the connection then? And more importantly- how comes we feel love for friends as being something natural? Is the love we feel for the friends grace given from above, or is it the result of of trying to form the correct desire for connection and intention to bestow on the friends? And how can it be so strong, when we meet people only virtually? How can it be so different from corporeal sensations?
Hi Verena,
We have work towards sleep as well. We can go to sleep with the right thoughts, and then both what happens during the night and the morning will be closer to spirituality.
To the second question, habit becomes second nature, so if I’ve done the right work toward the Creator, through the friends, then that place becomes the vessel in which His quality of love is revealed. If I haven’t done this work but I feel love for them, then it’s only an example that that can exist, so later we will work toward it, and then it won’t yield just good impressions but the Creator.
Dear Gianni,
Help me understand- when Rabash writes about “receiving reward in this world and in the next world”, what is meant by “the next world”? Is it referring to what comes after crossing the Mahsom or is it just some imaginary notion that people who want a reward pacify themselves with (like Heaven and Hell)?
Thank you ❤️
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