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How can I establish a deeper connection with my friend, one that transcends my ego? Is my intellect merely a manifestation of my ego? It often seems as though I’m attempting to connect with my friend through my knowledge, the sharing of experiences, and contemplation of this wisdom. However, when I scale back these efforts, I sense a void. Recently, I came across an excerpt from Dr. Laitman’s blog, which inspired me to offer a prayer. Are there any additional techniques for refining this desire for connection? I find myself feeling somewhat isolated from my friend, as if my focus is solely on myself, and I’m struggling to perceive their desires.
Feel the Friend
Sep 8, 2023 1:30 AM
Question: You say we should feel the friend, connection, and merging into one heart. But I have never felt this. Although I feel the result of my friends becoming greater for me, and I see our commonality, I am glad that we are together, but nothing more. What effort should I make to make these feelings more accurate and more precise, or should I not strive for this?
Answer: You need to try to open your heart a little. Do various exercises to connect with your friends and you will be able to expand your heart gradually so that you will be closer to the Creator.
Question:Â No matter how hard I try, I do not feel the friends. Can I pray to the Creator to give me this sensitivity?
Answer:Â Of course you can. This is a very good request. The Creator will hear it with pleasure.
Question: How, without adding my egoism, can I pass a friend’s desire to the Creator in its purest form?
Answer:Â Do not worry about the Creator. To the extent of your exertion, desire, and yearning to pass to the friend, the Creator will feel it all perfectly.
https://kabbalahmedia.info/en/publications/blog/laitman-com/289769
I feel like it’s been answered before, and so for that I apologize, but; could we refrain from corporeal pleasures to any extent in order to increase our sensitivity towards the friends?
It all boils back down to intent… meaning that if the intent behind my fast was in order to increase my sensitivity towards the friends, then it could work, but if my fasting made me irritable then maybe not…??? Maybe that it has nothing to do with the physical act of fasting (from whatever) itself but the intent behind the fast and adopting the modality of Zeir Anpin (simply limiting the amount of pleasure received in my vessel so as to only “consume” what is necessary in order to fulfil the purpose of the act that it might be used to bestow to others).I realize that we’re focused on the activities specifically as they pertain to engagement towards the group but I want to live my whole life in bestowal. I want every step I take to be a blessing on the grass and bugs under my feet – to not disturb them any more than necessary in order for me to traverse the path, but at the same time I want the path I walk to make it easier on others to find and traverse, themselves. I could easily say that this way of life would give me pleasure in as much as I am able to relate to others, but if my intention is to be as invisible as possible, such that the grass, bugs, and people who found the path didn’t even recognize me or barely knew that I was there and still everything I did was in order to please the creator, without even realizing that this was what I was doing, would that be a valid prayer?
While this reality is one of harsh obstacles, I see value in being soft, like water, which is able to overcome and make smooth even the most treacherous of terrain. How does a Kabbalist eat, walk, or toil?
Hi Jarrett,
For students’ benefit because one needs to clarify only the question (the rest is for the student alone), I only read sentences with question marks after them, usually. So, no you can’t gain proximity to the friends by limiting corporeal desires. But you can scrutinize which desires you cannot think about the friends and the Creator while you’re going them, and think what to do from there on. What I need to do is elevate the importance of spirituality higher than the importance these desires have right now.
Hi David,
You are not alone in this . I feel that this is a big problem, the intellectual mind conjoining with the desires of the heart. When do our selfish prayers connect to the need of prayers from all the individual prayers of our ten members? When do these prayers merge into a single, unified prayer, becoming a common vessel  to draw the light that reforms ? Connection ( 3 x) , prayer ( 3 x) are the answers we get from the wise men. Patience and persistence add up to that. My prayers are yours. Keep faith.
Hi David,
You’re asking about the entire study here. If we do what you want to do it’s already spirituality. Really this is more of a question for Rav.
I recommend to do what Rav Laitman says, in any lesson, especially the lesson on that day. The only problem is we listen somewhat but don’t take what is said as the day’s work, assess our results before the next lesson, and then do it again the next day.
I’ve been thinking about evolution, and how the levels of complexity often give rise to emergent properties greater than the sum of the parts. For example, two hydrogen and one oxygen atom combined together make and emerge as the substance water, or how individual cells in an animal work together to enable breathing or digestion. If you focused on just one cell, however, you would not see that it functions in a lung or stomach, you would not even comprehend it’s role within the emergent system.
My question is can spirituality be considered an emergent property of psychology?
So there is not any one part of psychology that would explain or give a true perspective of spirituality…
If this is correct then would it mean that by working with spirituality you would experience accelerated psychological development?Hi Ricki,
One who develops the soul certainly experiences accelerated psychological development, more than what would be over many lives in this world. But the rest is uncertain.
We have a desire. To acquire what I desire (and under no other circumstances), my mind develops. They call the admixture of the results of this process my psychology. With its produce though I can never reach spirituality – even in a thousand lifetimes. I can’t even go toward it because the direction of spirituality is a direction that I can’t imagine. I also don’t like to imagine it, it’s against my nature, against my desire, and I hate it.
That’s why I need the wisdom of Kabbalah. I need to hear from those who already reached spirituality, where to go and how to get there, and I need an Upper Force called Reforming Light to illuminate this dark way on which I otherwise could not bear to travel. Then it becomes pleasant as well.
Thank you for the opportunity to ask, (from many articles and texts and also what I’m feeling right now)
When there is much revelation of the evil inclination and its so massive, like feeling responsible for all that is bad in the whole world.. q): is it at this time; specifically, that one should pray for Creator to change them and give a second nature? At this time it’s okay to request for the self?
Yes – When to cause good to others, to His beloved ones, it is necessary that I change, I can request that change.
Are Moses ben Jacob Cordovero and the Baal Shem Tov considered authentic lineage teachers? Â Is there a list of authentic vs. non-authentic teachers?
If i may ask:
Where does the “…medium, called love of others…” fit into the 10? Where is its place within the World 10?
Thank you
The ten is exactly the “medium” that I have instead of the Creator to bestow upon. Once I’m as one with them, we’re as a cell that has to work toward other tens in the same way. That’s several steps ahead though.
(From the book titled: ” Excerpts from the Sources, Work With Faith Above Reason” and also in Shamati. ) If i may ask please?
Q: what is the relationship between “simple faith” or “true faith” and the Principle “Love Thy Friend As Thyself”
Thank You!
Simple faith is simply believing because the sages said so. Faith above reason is bestowal above reception. It’s the requirement to reach “love your friend as yourself” because my desire and his desire have to switch places in terms of their priority of fulfilment.
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