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I realize I have no understanding -I don’t even understand if I have entered this course with the right intention, maybe I only entered it out of fear of death. The ego can be so sly, I wish to know how to pray for understanding but I realize I don’t know how to pray, because prior to studying Kabbalah was I spiritually dead? Will the Creator hear any prayer from the spiritually dead? Does one pray the way we were taught in Christianity? How does one pray? The more I try to know, the more I don’t know. I try to pray the Ana Bekoach because I feel I don’t know how to do a ‘regular’ prayer anymore, so I thought, maybe I just need to say this prayer, but when I try, I just inexplicably cry and not with tears of joy. In fact, as I continue on in this course, I keep feeling emotional, like I will never have understanding, nor altruism.
Cyndi,
These are great questions and they are all in the correct place.
Who am I? What am I doing? Can I get out of this hell? How? Does what I do matter?
These are the most valid questions.
And it should be clear to you that you are rising above the level of “beast” of the animate degree. Animals don’t ask these questions. And we, all the nice primates around us wearing clothes and driving to work, most are not bothered by these questions too much that they are ready to do something. Usually we cover the questions or drown them out until we can barely hear them. But you are asking them and they are growing and this is the beginning of our exit from a regular corporeal life and the little light that starts to shine at the entrance to a spiritual reality.
Regarding prayer, the desire of the heart is the prayer. We can say a lot of words and it is good to speak to the Creator like your best friend, say anything, whatever you want, you are confused, you are grateful, you are upset, you are overjoyed, speak to Him. The words are not as important as the heart is the true prayer and we use our words to help express or guide the heart sometimes.
You are on track.
Good luck and keep going,
Seth@KabU
It looks like I get to ask a question after this video, too.
I got the impression that the intention to receive “not for me” can be applied two ways. It can be an intention to receive for the benefit of the creator. And, it can be an intention to receive in order to benefit another human being. Is that correct? Probably having the intention to receive in order to benefit another person ends up benefiting the creator, too.
First I’d like to thank you, Seth, for your comprehensive answers to everyone’s questions. I had no idea that this course would have this kind of benefit. I learn so much from other’s questions and how they are answered.
My question is: I’ve heard the term “bread of shame,” where the creature cannot bear how different it is from the creator. I believe it precedes the shattering of the original soul. Would this be found in the Malchut?
So we relate to other humans because they have more desire than the animate, vegetative, and inanimate together in one person. So there is more of the creator in humans than anywhere else?
Todd,
Not exactly as you said.
But the key to the our opportunity for developing our soul is in the relations between other humans. At first the ones who are with us on the path, due to several factors, the first being that they are playing by the same rules as us, reading the same books as us. So we can work together and many sparks join to be a big flame. Later we will understand how everything we perceive is clothing of the Creator and how to relate to it all.
Seth@KabU
Lora,
We aren’t upset when a little baby expresses its desire, in fact we enjoy it. When a baby is hungry and demands to be fed, we are happy that he is healthy, in fact we would get nervous if the baby did not express hunger and the desire to grow.
When do we get annoyed? When the baby grows and then not just that he wants, but he wants in some conniving way. That is what bothers us, when a person wants at the expense of others. So it is not the desire itself, but when the person desires for the sake of himself only.
In both of these degrees, there is no awareness of the Creator.
The baby doesn’t recognize the existence of the Creator.
And a person from the general public also does not relate to the Creator, this person desires something and tries to acquire it.
But when a person develops beyond the general public and this person starts to feel that there is a Creator and that I am opposite from the Creator and I feel such shame that I live only for myself and the Creator is bestowing upon all of creation and I can’t stand to receive like this, then my desire changes, I must escape from this shame and this draws upon us a new light that reformats our vessel.
All of the desire is called Malchut.
Seth@KabU
I believe I understand this portion of the lesson I believe that if I keep going forward in this lesson and reading and responses from my classmates I will gain a clear understanding. my question is to myself have I reached this point of attainment? And how will I know.
William,
There are many awakenings that we receive along the way.
The spiritual attainment that we are learning about, that the books of kabbalah write to us about means that the light of creation, called the Light of Hochma, dresses in the Light of Hassadim. This means that through many efforts on our part, we have built between us a vessel for the endless light to dwell in our midst. This is called the construction of the degrees of the soul, Nefesh, Ruach, Neshama, Haya, Yechida.
It is not something that happens by surprise or by mistake or from a sequence of coincidences.
Attainment is called that one attains it in his hand, meaning that the same way you hold something in your hand, the attainment will be even closer than that, it will be unmistakable, as if you went to work everyday for a paycheck and then went to buy a car and then you sit in that car and you feel the work of your hands.
Seth@KabU
The Creator has shown me He is there in my most heart broken and painful phases of life. I get emotional thinking of Him and His Holy Presence. When I’ve had a ‘dark night’ He is there, when I felt abandoned and alone He is there. My wish is for all of us to draw closer to Him. Thank You for the great questions and answers, they are a tremendous bonus to this course. Peace/Love/Compassion.
I don’t entirely understand the concept of the screen.
I don’t really understand why the screen is necessary for the process to happen, or why the process can’t happen by simply understanding the truth. (Like in the example of the man preparing dinner for his friend. His friend felt guilt at first, but then once he understood, he was able to enjoy the feast. He did not have to create a screen to do this, he just received the knowledge that his friend wanted him to enjoy the feast, and then he was able to enjoy it guilt-free. Once he knew that was actually a gift to his friend, he was good to go.)
What would the screen be in the dinner metaphor?
Thank you for your time! 💜
Shel,
The screen is his attitude to the host.
The guest has a stomach and he is hungry, but the pleasure that new vessels that he makes by his attitude is that he can bestow pleasure upon the host by receiving.
So at first it’s just I’m hungry and I eat.
Now, after the rejection and my newly developed attitude to the host (this is as a result of the screen), he now receives but now not to fill his belly (which he must necessarily do anyway), but in order to give contentment to the host.
Seth@KabU
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