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Thank you for this lesson. It is so reassuring to know that the feeling that I can never “measure up”, the feeling that the farther I go in my studies, the farther I seem to fall behind and the more unworthy I feel – is in fact by design. This is the intent of the Creator. This feeling of failure, of lack, is precisely the thing that causes my need to be close to the Creator ever more urgent, ever more insatiable. And this feeling is, therefore, the very proof that progress toward the goal, toward the Creator, is actually occurring.
At first I believed all that people said about others was true, but more and more I realize all we do is out pour that which is deeply rooted inside of us. The ego can be so sly, it loves attention and desires a scratch to that itch every now and then—to this there is no end.
I also realize more and more how connected my life is. I used to compartmentalize things in the belief that they were distant things that would never share boundaries. But the more I look at life, I realize everything is somehow related. Although my knowledge to this is still fairly new, I’m just starting to open up…I feel like a babe at this.
Finally I’d like to say I’ve realized my ills more and more. I’m such a faulty person. I go around life with a score to settle, a point to prove. This also I am still trying to understand more and more. I do not desire it any longer, for its joys are short-lived, yet its consequences I struggle with long after. I should not desire to prove a point. I’m learning so much from my mishaps.
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