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Before I began watching video 2.5 I wrote down the following statement:
“Why do I feel ashamed that my point in the heart is an egoistic desire? My intellect tells me it should be altruistic but I can’t help but want others to help ME fulfil spirituality. It is shameful that I should want to exploit other people’s attention for my own benefit.”
It’s peculiar, funny, maybe ironic, that Julian then says that students tend to ask a question to a similar effect.
I suppose I’m on the right track…
Lesson video 5 of week 2 on nurturing the point in the heart addressed my concerns and fears about the Kabbalistic group in relation to egoistic tendencies; it was so soothing and encouraging to know that:
- The Kabbalistic lab or group is a spiritual healthy environment, and not an egoistic hunting ground for exploitation and self-love.
- The Kabbalistic lab feeds, nurtures, and grows our point in the heart to cross the barrier to spirituality and does not feed our egoistic vessels, but that in this laboratory, the ego is identified, treated, and corrected for change.
- That the values and aspirations of this Kabbalistic group are purely altruistic values of spirituality which are connection, unity, and mutual bestowal.
- The Kabbalistic lab is a group to motivate and encourage each other to grow to spiritual attainment and move to bestowal.
From video lesson 2, the allegory of the cat, the obvious fact that the ego-the slave master cannot be annulled, suppressed, and annihilated; not even directly because it is our nature – a desire to receive that was so created by the LIGHT! got me staggering for a moment with the realization that we are all egoist without exception!! It now really dawned on me that the Maker of the ego is the Only One that can influence and put the ego under control. Wow!!
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