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Rather triggered than inspired: that evil too comes from Creator, because everything comes from Him. I still can’t take it. Evil comes from ego, and its creation was man’s idea. Man could have been just laughing about the snake’s proposal, but he chose not to, so it was his/my choice to create the ego and to serve it. The Creator still love man above his ego, but the man must live with the consequences of its ego, here on earth. Now the ego does not really exist, and nothing is truly existent, what is made by it. While only what the Creator creates does truly exist. Saying that everything I percieve and experience through the body here on earth is from Him feels to me like a sin, like I project my malignancy onto Him.
This point brought a big resistance in me, and I even can not differentiate if this resistance is within my soul or within the ego. But even if it is in the ego, my ego seems to protect and defend the Creator, what is quite well.
My wish for my fellows is to be so vigilant as they can in order to recognize the ego and its mechanisms and not to grope in.
1. Part 2 was mind-bending, soul-shaking and perspective-shifting. I have written pages of reflections in my journal to keep track. An inspiring element is the accessibility of these teachings and how well presented they are here in this format – it´s a delight to be held through the process in such a way. Thank you to all the teachers involved in this effort. I am finding many voices combine, along with the things I´ve read and videos I´ve watched, to form a growing, inner voice that seems to be propelling me forward – prodding, questioning and prompting me to analyse my behaviours and thoughts.
2. To know that prayer is actually self-judgement – how I laughed (and cried) about all the years I have done my best to bargain and strike deals with the Creator to ease my suffering and the suffering of loved ones. There have been extremely difficult experiences in my life that have caused much trauma and pain. I prayed as I was taught. I never knew why these prayers went unanswered (no solutions provided). I prayed harder, more, better, made promises, but still, nothing. I had a moment of realisation this month, seeing all the begging I have done, visualising those ´prayers´ hanging around in the ether and the Creator being unmoved. For some reason, this provoked a fit of hysterics in me and I laughed and laughed until I could no more. It was just so very profoundly funny. That was a strange, revelatory experience. I felt that when I was laughing, the Creator was too.
3. For my fellow students, I wish a speedy correction, in this lifetime if possible. I believe in our efforts.
Dear Leanne, thank you for the gift of expressing yourself in a way that is so touchy and moving, I felt you, your words cracked me up 😄. I had not enough conscious awareness of it, but indeed felt – still feeling – that the Creator operates in a funny way, and laughs with Us, just was reluctant to approach Him from his funny side 🫣; thank you for reinforcing that 🙏, I am laughing more and more these days, my funny bone has been resurrected 😍.
I feel my desire growing with each lesson. Through each KabU course, I find more inspiration to move forward.
I feel my desire for connection developing.
I wish for all of us to meet in one desire, in one heart.
It will be great to meet my fellow students (future friends) when we all reach that point in our coursework.
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