[Cyndi]

I am struck by the thought that  everything is happening now, the past, the present and the future- in other words, we have attained freedom and the collective soul has come back together as one and yet, inside of time and space it is still shattered and on it’s journey up the ladder –

[Cyndi]

What is freedom?

I wonder if it is the third line, the line in between the rejection of the left and bestowal of the right?

[Cyndi]

“There is none else beside Him” – To learn this is not something to believe, but something to discover for oneself – to put in practice this week by practicing relating everything to One Force rather than many – to ‘see’ this for myself – to make this a habit – to make this awareness ‘normal’ to me through practice – to remind myself and cleave to this –

[Cyndi]

Ok, so what I think  I understand from this lesson is that prayer is not words, but a gut level need that is heard by the Creator – but I wonder after reading in Unlocking the Zohar by Rav Laitman, that we are accustomed to asking for fulfillment when we should be asking for correction – so, are there two types of prayer? The gut level need and prayers with words? Also, I never really paid attention before, but I have noticed that I don’t say a prayer before I consume food or drink – do I say a prayer of thanksgiving? I remember in childhood, I had to say ‘grace’ at the table before eating, and a prayer at night before going to bed, but honestly, they were both just empty recitations without any feeling to them – but should I start practicing this habit – I am still trying to understand prayer because after this short time of studying Kabbalah, it really isn’t what I thought it was or believed it to be – thank you in advance for any insight you can offer-

I would also like to say that it feels encouraging to have the rejection of the Creator explained – I have had a very emotional time since starting to study – I work in the Arctic on 7 week rotations but I like to be up early to study before work – well the internet is really a challenge up here and keeps cutting out in the middle of Tony Kosinec’s videos – I would say a “prayer” asking for the internet to miraculously come back on and when it didn’t, I felt so angry and defeated, after all, wasn’t I trying to draw closer to God – I actually thought to myself, well if Your so great, why won’t You help me? Maybe You don’t want me to study this – but then, because I couldn’t watch the video’s when I wanted, I started reading the Shamati and other writings by Rav Laitman, also Baal HaSulam. I had been working through my lunch breaks at work and would go all day without a break, but due to the internet being so bad at the hotel where I stay while up North, I decided to see if I could watch the video’s at work – and it worked! I was able to watch the lessons so it all worked out – I really don’t understand why I felt so emotional but this lesson really made me wonder if I was experiencing a rejection from the Creator – this lesson gives me hope.

[Cyndi]

From what I understood after reading the story of “Jacob, Essau, Laban and Belaam (Unlocking the Zohar), reality exists only in our WILL – a Kabbalist sees everything as Forces and Qualities and the overall force that operates them – the Creator. It states this is the revelation to which we aspire and it happens within our Will to the extent that we equalize with the Creator – I wonder if this is the key to feeling the entire reality is the action of the Creator?

I read that story numerous times, and the commentary – it was so profound for me – so moving.

[Cyndi]

I don’t know that I actually had a best experience from the last course, but I do hope to acquire understanding – I hope that something will just ‘click’ within me and that I will be able to grasp it

[Author]

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