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Sin is not what I do wrong. It’s what is found within my nature, that if given the opportunity, I will steal the Upper Light, meaning I will receive it without a Masach (screen). Adam, which is the state of the soul before I broke and fell to our world, discovers that as much as he would have liked to be aimed only at the Creator, to bestow, that there are desires in him that, if opened up, he will receive in order to receive in them, and he will even realize that he is receiving in order to receive, and these are such desires that he can’t stop himself and will even receive in them with foreknowledge that this reception will be in order to receive. Now, we’re after the descend of degrees through the worlds of Beria, Yetzira, Assiya, down to Our World. And so, these sins are all ahead of us to be discovered. Except now they won’t let us uncover what we can’t already correct with a Masach in advance. Meaning: build the Masach or you won’t even be given the opportunity to make a mistake. We can’t sin. All we can do is prolong our time in our kindergarten, like you won’t let a child into the street to learn lessons on his own because it’s certain that he lacks the vessels and wherewithal to navigate that environment.
If we were in a small community together, for sure we’d find you a wife on the path. In our situation, it’s not possible. But all the friends I’ve seen that really wanted a wife, eventually found one. Some took longer than others. It depends on the man’s true desire for it but also his willingness to correct himself. He should look for someone whose highest goal in life – meaning the goal to which all others are subservient – is the same as his. If it’s to be wealthy, then he should find a woman for whom that is most important, for example. Then, she will help him achieve that goal, if he listens to her. As it is said, “Abraham, listen to Sarah.” He has to be ready to accept a woman that is appropriate for him, according to what I’ve said in other posts – which I heard from my teacher and guided me as well. And to get rid of all kinds of other standards about women that society has imposed. He also has to correct himself so that he has a career and can support himself at least. What stands in one’s way usually is that he somehow doesn’t want to make some basic corrections, doesn’t want to keep the Creator’s commandment that the laws of nature – of this world – are the Creator’s laws. If all he wants beyond the foundational necessities of life is to reach the Creator, then if he needs a wife to do that, he will find one if takes appropriate steps to do so.
Well, we have to live in the world the way it is now. But in the past, they showed you a person, you met once, twice. You married. For example, Rabash’s wife saw him from afar. She agreed to marry him, thinking he was the taller of the pair she’d seen walking. He was tiny. Anyway, they were nevertheless married for about 60 years until she died. After that, he told Rav Laitman, “You have to find me a wife.” He didn’t care much who. Because for him it was a law, he had to be married, though he was already over 80 years old. And we’re talking about one with unimaginably high spiritual attainment. He didn’t do too many calculations. You must be not repulsed. And she must somehow remind him of his mother, how she cared for him and so on. After that, love is a beast that is fed by concessions. That’s how you build it. It can’t be some relationship that is without a marriage certificate. And all the rest that people call dating, is all games I’m playing with myself. But that’s how everyone’s playing these days, seemingly because it’s more beneficial this way. But in the end, that’s not a modern approach, but an ancient one – ancient like our animal state. You know, like bunnies, insects. Later, in the future, it will be like it was in the past, and that will be understood to epitomize and optimize that desire. Again, we can’t recommend anything, but just for you to understand how Kabbalists think in their heads and what they consider a serious approach.
These are the things you need to do inside, in your feeling. To hug someone on the outside is easy; to love them, want the best for them – this is impossible because my nature is to want the best for me, and not others unless that will benefit me somehow. In other words, the miracle we need is to be given the quality of bestowal, love.
