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I want this for everyone, I really do. When dealing with those that delight in hurting others it’s difficult to understand how this will be possible without extreme suffering. But, I remind myself that there’s no coercion in the spiritual. Those of us that want this connection have to keep going. I want every goodness for you all. I want you to know yourselves as well as is possible at any given moment and to find trust and reciprocity with those that share your desire for this path. I know I have so much to learn from you all.
What helped me this week was the application of learning in opposites. (It helped to perceive myself as the vessel with a screen as the intention.) It helped me see that setting the intention “for the Creator’s sake”, studying and growing my ability to keep it set, helps focus me to contrast the thoughts and feelings of each situation I experience with what I perceive of the Creator. (the Light strikes my vessel) Do I feel bad? Do I feel good? If I feel bad I can understand it’s because my thoughts/feelings/actions are remote from the Creator. I can try to understand the qualities of the Creator as compared to myself in this experience. When I feel good I can lovingly receive for the Creator’s sake and contemplate Him from the perspective of my own thoughts and feelings. Each time I have my intention set and each time I encounter a situation that allows me to compare my exact spot to what I know about the Creator, my understanding grows. Each subjective experience tells me something.
I’m uncertain if this is correct, but it clicked for me generally like this.
I’ve broken and rebuilt myself many times, but the last time was different. There were things I NEEDED to know. The things I’d learned in the past were life-changing, but I didn’t understand why they were so. Kabbalah keeps providing me with answers I NEED to know, but I never expected to receive.
I felt alone most of my life and as much as I’ve wanted to connect with others, I’ve needed to learn to protect myself from other people. But this course has shown me I’m not alone. It’s helped me see we all have more in common than I realized. I just need people that want the same things I do.
