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I’m struggling to find the delineation between “food” and the wallowing in filth metaphor.
I understand that what the Creator provides to fill our base needs and make it possible for us to study is food. But, for example, if I listen to Kabbalah videos for several hours and get to a point where I feel like my brain is tired and wants to turn off, and then I go listen to a sci-fi audio book that I’ve listened to 5 times before and I just enjoy it… or sit in front of the TV or something. Is that food or filth?
I understand it’s not saying the filth is particularly evil, just unproductive. Do we need to strive for everything that goes into your senses to be productive at all times? That is exhausting when I have little conception yet of what I’m striving for. I only get it on an abstract imaginary level with few details of personal attainment.
Am I working towards a constant desire to connect to others and the Creator, or is it something that I am supposed to be trying to force myself to do right now?
I can start with an abstract visual. The whole vast Universe is a bubble of bestowal, and I am a speck of it.
And the inner “universe” of my own awareness, and everything I think I perceive, is out of phase with reality because I have misallocated the causality my entire life. I have used logic and physical experience to try to identify causative factors in material reality, when none actually exist there. Everything is inverted. Time unfolds backwards from the ultimate goal. My reality is the photo negative of the real one. My reality completely ignored the one actually provable thing, which is that all I can really know in this physical world is that I exist.
And for these reasons the Creator is only a tiny speck in my universe. Just a sneaking suspicious in the bottom of my heart that there’s something incredible that I don’t perceive and I have, as if, a genetic memory of Its existence.
Now my job is to close the ven diagram of those two “universes.” I do this by increasing my perception of the truth, which is that all I see is an effect of the reality of bestowal. And every part of my perceived reality that I can reallocate, to the truth of the Creator’s bestowal, is added to that tiny point of perception of the real Universe in my heart. And that grows. And if I grow it enough it will eclipse my contrived reality completely. And then it will keep growing, because the real Universe is far greater than I can conceive of in my logic reality.
So, now I must look at every single thing I have ever perceived and realize how it is inverted, and undo that in my understanding. And eventually, with the Creator’s help, I might begin to perceive what I can barely conceive of right now.
Maybe try listening to the Kabbalah Explained Simply series on their KabbalahInfo channel on YouTube. It might just be you’re cognitively more suited to start that way. I get a lot of “aha” moments on Gianni’s videos, and some on Tony’s. The other people are also pleasant and interesting. They flesh it out in a way that’s easy to get a foothold wherever my squirrel brain is interested in latching on on that particular day.
That first one sounds like it’s not so much that Malchut rises to Bina, as it is that Malchut is at the bottom of an ocean and we slowly empty it and uncover Malchut and as the surface drops below Malchut she’s is then in Bina.
That second link is wow. I’ll have to read that a bunch of times. It’s a nutshell of Kabbalah I’ve never seen. This part:
“Question: Does it mean that the Creator is a force that the righteous reveals by reaching the property of the firmament”?
Answer: Yes, it is true. The Creator can be revealed only when He dresses in a human being. A man who attains equivalence of properties with the Creator is called righteous.”So, we lower the surface of the firmament by looking at every single thing in reality and re-categorize it from “other” to “none other besides Him?” and put a seal of approval on it whether we can understand what is going on there or not?
My best experience from the previous course was discovering how much has been added to it since I was here ten years ago. I am also loving seeing the number and quality of “Kabbalah Explained Simply” videos on YouTube. And I the reading material seems to make complete sense, which is something I never thought would happen based on my previous experience.
It is also interesting to me that it feels like my life was suddenly stilled when I started the classes again. Everything got quiet and routine and comfortable as if all the world is trying not to bother me. I could do these classes every day of my whole life, and I am excited at the idea that the world might let me.
