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I am here to make sense of what I am reading, I understand its in code, hopefully some of that code will be revealed. I own most of the recommended reading, but I will end up purchasing the rest weekly as the course progresses. I am extremely interested in the book called “The Kabbalist” I already own both “The Zohar” and “Introduction to the Zohar” which even owning those I cant make sense of it myself. I look forward to seeing what these are really revealing.
I somehow in a live Q and A asked a very advance question which was, “What is SAG?”. It was explained in simple terms but it was recommended I take this course. So here I am. I was told by a fellow peer this is not an easy course, so I wont be taking it lightly. But at the same time, I want to enjoy the experience so i cant take it more serious than is needed.
I do not have a question. I am simply sharing what I feel.
The creator is all, so we simply perceive. It is our arrogance from our Ego that puts power into our actions. That power does not exist in us but is from the creator. We grow farther apart from the creator because we perceive what is real. We are not powerful. When we let go of this “knowledge” we become sad. We realize we are alone because we relied on ourselves to make changes (which is impossible). When we become truly alone the creator sees this as a genuine prayer of brokenness and despair. At that moment the creator sends mercy in the form of the beginning of unification. The creator sends some message in our life to seek true spirituality and stop relying on ourselves. The creator never leaves us, we simply never thought he was there because we relied on ourselves and this is why our efforts failed. Our perception changes and we perceive that all is the creator and we do nothing. This is when the natural forces present themselves in a manner in which we can surrender and truly understand our roles as powerless creatures. It only seems like abandonment because we abandon ourselves eventually (since we have no power). But in reality the creator waited patiently until we experienced our purpose was for his pleasure. The creator finds pleasure in my accepting his gifts of bestowal. I find nothing in rejection of this and eventually seek to receive the intended gift. Nothing about the natural forces change, my desires become the creators because I understand I am the one changing and the creator is the one changing my perception out of mercy. Mercy is given because upon this realization i can stop making myself miserable by relying on power I dont have and witness the true power of the creator who does. When i stop focusing on myself, but accept my true nature of selfishness is also pleasurable to the creator, I take on behalf only that it is pleasurable for me to do so. This allows me to think of the creator rather than myself and should lead to the understanding of my non broken screen. But Malchut is a state of maladaptation, therefore when i receive some light it will never be enough until i reach 100% and am one with the creator. Again the creator is not pushing me away, my perception and natural nature just feels like he is.
I think about 20 years ago I decided there was “None else beside him”. I was able to understand about 5 years ago there was nothing but the creator. And shortly after taking the first class about 4 days in I decided there is ONLY the creator.  In Genesis of the torah we read the first word of creation Bereshit, but upon studying the Zohar we find that there is a hidden phonetics of this word. bara created sheet (spelled transliterated) and not to be confused with modern Hebrew six) six according to the Raabbi in the Zohar, this was at creation. So literally the creator said create six and thus all was created and all that was in them. I realize there was an upspoken word during all this but Heaven and Earth nor any of the other worlds existed until this word. Nothing actually changed except the creator bestowed more of itself on its creation. It is all still one. Because all there is, is the creator. There is none else beside him. I find it interesting that what i felt in my heart became reality after all.
I wish the fellow students to be able to see the Ego, and work with it. Learn to hate it, but then learn to reconcile with it. In doing so they will achieve what it is they sought from this course. The will to receive in a manner that allows for bestowal. That they can develop their screens and use the middle path as a tool of progress. I think what inspired me the most is that I dont have to have a supernatural experience to know what is and what is not. I can feel in my soul this is perfect harmony and we just need to understand why in order to stay in the harmony of all that is.
So to be one with the creator we must think like the creator? This means, I can do this with anything in life? Try to work out the grand design of why. This seems like the way.  So my question is this. Is this not only how one should study, but also benefit from practical Kabbalah? If we read something its just words, but if we think of how a person was thinking when we experience the writing it becomes more and the writer is alive again in our thoughts. So in life when changing our intention would it not be similar in everything we do to contemplate what the process was from the creator so we may better understand and know the creator and the methods of natural forces?
