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David,
Alef does not come from ox and bet not from house.
The letters are relationships of light and vessel. There was no ox or house until much much later.
You are referring to something called roots and branches. This is endless depth to this study, such as what is this material world all in all, with all of the galaxies, and who are we, the only known life in all the universe, on this one tiny rock off to the side of the milky way galaxy. But all of those qualities from those letters are imprinted at every degree of creation.
If you continue your study, all of these things will be opened up later.
Seth@KabUNick,
Up until now you were at a state called the first 13 years. It doesn’t mean how many times you went around the sun, all of these numbers represent qualitative states. Once a person comes to the desire to know what is beyond the material fulfillment, when his point in the heart awakens, this is the called the first 13 years. The point in the heart is the back side of the lowest spiritual degree of the world of Assia, not crossed the barrier between the material and spiritual worlds where the 125 degrees begin that you mentioned.
This state now is also called the preparation period.
After acquiring spiritual vessels, one perceives spiritual phenomenon. Just like with hands you can now feel your keyboard and with your mouth, you taste your coffee, so with spiritual vessels you perceive spiritual things.I very much encourage you to delve into this work and discover the myriad discernments there are in the ego and the work to try to do something free from it. This is how we are created and this tool of the ego is specifically our launch pad to be able to exit it.
Becoming despaired of it’s tireless grip on us is a good place to be! Then we know we need something else.
Good luck, the hero is the patient one,
Seth@KabUJhun,
The sages who reached the root of these letters wrote down what they discovered and passed it to us. We too can attain those degrees where we actually sense all of this, not as a study but as perception, however that takes years. So for now we need to use our mind and heart and ask, does this seem legitimate? Is there a better place for me to study? Is it all adding up for me?
This is a person’s free choice.There is a similar situation about medicine. A person can say, I’m not going to take this lifesaving medicine until I go to medical school and understand exactly how it works and how it will affect me.  It could take 10 years before he finishes medical school. In that case, it could be life or death.
Learning the Hebrew letters is not life or death 🙂
However as you study, you should be checking what you are learning. Does it all add up? If it does, keep going and slowly slowly it will all come into focus.
Seth@KabUSheila,
These are all wonderful discernments and I’d hesitate to give them spiritual names yet.
Of course we understand that we are will to receive, and a very refined one, you named a dozen pleasures you experienced just from sitting outside. That is a highly developed will to receive. Most other creatures don’t have such a developed sense of self to enjoy so many things on so many levels. But that is clear and that is what finally brought you here. But let’s not exactly place ourselves on the spiritual map of behinot yet. Let’s let all of these new concepts wash over us and slowly format us, then after a little while we’ll be able to use the language of kabbalah to describe accurately our inner world.
Seth@KabUInbar,
We are focused on giving spiritual direction, not specific family, health or work advice, so I don’t want to get into those areas.
Here are a few blog posts from our teacher, I hope that they are helpful and I hope that you both can find the power to reconcile.https://laitman.com/2022/12/why-are-most-of-the-families-falling-apart-at-present-quora/#gsc.tab=0
https://laitman.com/2015/05/the-family-revolution/#gsc.tab=0
Seth@KabU
