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I want to share thankfulness that the Creator is the only force behind it all. I am also thankful to feel “OK” right now. Soon after I awoke this morning, I experienced a sense of lack that felt like anxiety. Because of what I am learning at KabU, this feeling is an “awareness device” that alerts me to work on my intention. As I began to focus on having the intention to receive for the sake of the Creator, for the sake of the soul of humanity, I began to feel “OK” again. I was able to feel both the sense of lack and the sense of being “OK” simultaneously.
What’s amazing to me, is that when I do the work to transform my intention to “for the sake of the Creator, for the sake of Creation without respect to me”, even though I fall short because I maintain a measure of “doing this helps me”, nevertheless, I receive a sense of “I am OK, all is well, the Creator’s intention for my benefit is beyond what I could ever intend for myself, this is going in the right direction”. I am gaining a new perspective in that moment. Could this be what it means to attain the spiritual worlds, to ascend?
I have tried many things over many years to overcome feelings of anxiety and depression. Having come up short of that goal for many years, feeling defeated, incapable, not enough, I formed the view that only God could help me. If only he would. If he would do the work necessary to save me, to fix me. But that never happened. I believed that God/the Universe/Source/the Great Mystery was love and could help me, but for some reason would not.
Then, Kabbalah taught me that I have to do the work, hard work, and it scared me. I felt fear, like I can’t do this. But something inside me said this is the direction I need to take. I may approach it with fear, but if I take small steps – one lesson at time, watch the video, interact, read the recommended reading, and trust the process, this will result in salvation.
So, now I am feeling this salvation at work. I am so thankful to be gaining a new awareness about reality. I am appreciative that the Creator works things out this way. It feels satisfying to face fear and overcome. It’s as if you have to put forth the effort as if it all depends upon you, while at the same time have faith that the Creator is behind it all working it out for us all, and that it will work out because of him and him only. It’s a paradox. Yet, it feels satisfying to learn how life works and to put it into practice it.
Also, I am thankful for the people behind KabU! Thank you for your effort, for your work, for your study, for your practice.
I can remember that I am the clay being formed by the potter. I am being formed, because the potter chose to think and act. The clay vessel is the work of the potter. Everything that the clay experiences and thinks is a result of the potter’s choice to think and act. So, as the clay, I can choose to believe that the Creator forms me for a purpose and everything I encounter is the process of being formed. By believing this, I can transform my thoughts to receive this forming by the Creator’s hands. The painful experience, I can receive knowing that they are there to inform me that there is a much better state to be had. Therefore, I will gladly seek the potter’s continued forming. The pleasure experience, I can receive knowing that it is for the Creator’s pleasure to give it. I don’t need to consider myself, just to be satisfied for the Creator’s sake, for the pleasure received for the Creator’s sake is eternally satisfying. Whereas pleasure received for my sake is fleeting. This is the complete summation of my reality. I don’t need to be concerned about my sake, because He is concerned about my sake, and there is none but Him.
My expectations for KR2 are to become more equipped to practice Kabbalah. The course work so far is already impacting my planning for the coming year. My priority is to work with my intention. From what I’ve learned, the Creator bestowed for the sake of the Creation. Equivalence of form requires the Creation to receive for the sake of the Creator. So, my goal in 2023 is to continue the work to develop the intention to receive for the sake of the Creator. My expectations are that Kabbalah will give me guidance about what changes to make with my daily routine, relationships, and practices to achieve this goal. I am so very excited and grateful to be here. Thank you for making this a reality!
From the perspective of doing the coursework, the recommended readings are great. I have experienced a few “aha” moments, and many moments where I felt hope and appreciation while reading.
From the perspective of practical application, learning about the left, right, and middle lines have been extremely helpful. During times when I experience unpleasant feelings of fear, anxiety, and sadness, I am learning that they are a reminder for me to evaluate my intentions and to make the effort to change my intentions. Often, I begin to feel a sense of being “OK” as I realize that I am filled with delight by the Creator. Finally, I become aware of both the lack and the filling of delight simultaneously, which gives me a deep sense of gratitude for the process of spiritual development.
What most inspired me in the course?
Learning that changing my intention from “for myself” to “for others” or “for the sake of the Creator” is like stepping through a portal where the impossible becomes not only possible, but certain. On one hand, the Creature’s success (my success) depends solely on its effort (my effort) to transform from receiving for selfish intentions to altruistic intentions – an impossible task. It would seem we are doomed, and that’s what it feels like at times on the journey. Nevertheless, because of the Creator’s love and insight, the Creature’s intention to do the impossible counts as a likeness in quality with the spiritual world and access is granted. You work like it depends only upon you and have faith that it depends only upon the Creator. Both are required. It’s a beautiful balance.What have I learned about myself in the process?
I have learned that I really want to attain/ascend. I will do the work, and I will have the faith. I must; I cannot see any other way.What do I wish for my fellow students in their spiritual development?
I wish for my fellow students to make it their life’s purpose to attain and ascend.So, like the still, vegetative, and animate forms in nature move and shift to find balance (equivalence of form) in the physical world, humans are learning to do this in the spiritual world. Through feelings, thoughts, and intentions, we seek equivalence of form on the human level. This may be oversimplifying, but is it the right understanding to say that what we are trying to do is to be filled with pleasure by increasing our desire to know the thought of the Creator?
