Forum Replies Created
- Replies
I am wondering, which state Malchut will get into as she restricts herself from all that she is plus all her connection towards the other phases of light. I cannot think of a more „traumatic transition“ … and that state of deprivation… wońt she become „depressed“… or turn into something else, alienating her self from all she was before? I know spirituality doesńt work according to human psychology, but there was this deep impact of shame. And then, if I would compare how Malchut is affected by that „once and forever decision“ and all the loss and restriction it contains, I would think it changes her nature?
I am wondering if I kind of grasping things correctly… or if am on the wrong track. I understood, the desire wants to receive, and thus takes from the light without asking, and then being caught in the act of „sneaking“, she is allowed to take. Is that right? And what would be the motor to that? Greediness? Her nature (the will to receive)?And then, … I do understand itś like that the love and bestowal of the creator in allowing her to take what she was about to steal gives her awareness of her lesser integrity in comparison to the creator. Thus caught, this awareness of her own disparity of form humbles Malchut, and thus she feels shame, and most likely she wońt want to take what she was longing for, because it would induce more shame. Is it like that? In the quiz the question was, what Malchut could do… I thought, if it was human affairs, an immature reaction would be to deny or project, a mature reaction could be to take responsibility and compensate… but then I am wondering, if Malchutś nature is to receive, should that not just be something she needs to accept? Is that the lesson needed to learn? Because itś impossible to change the nature… and then out of that the idea could be born to change the intention of that receiving… ?
Just asking if I perceive it the right way: I am getting it like all the challenges and struggles we go through, shaking us from deep within, will lead us to doubting first, but eventually while being down at the bottom we will seek help, and ask for the guidance of the creater, and thatś the actual prayer.? And then eventually, as we grow , we may feel more of the connection, but the challenges will stay on… in order for us to experience a correction so we can balance our desires and our perception of the light out again. And then there might be the next blow, and it will shake us again, and we will have to work again on gaining balance, and so forth. And I am undestanding that through the awareness of Kabbalah, even following the path of light, itś not taking away the pain of going through these corrections, but it might be turning it into an internal process, rather than exposing us to more and more external pushes, which would be the path of suffering. Is that kind of going into the right direction?
Basically, it was like a taste of how „being home“ feels… Feeling the connection (most of all during the retreat), feeling that the energy arises from the connection and that it can be so strong; understanding that there are patterns of connection, that the light is basically everywhere, that growing means building a bigger vessel; that itś about using our egoistic nature for the good; that you cannot change the will to receive but its intention.
Itś such calmness in this. Because it includes everything- in me and around me. And it gives a purpose to the struggles, and a feeling of being „home“ whereever I am in terms of my spiritual journey, but as well in terms of life. There is no need to „achieve“ anything, and without that human concept itś so much easier to attain. Itś true peace of mind. But it might also create a longing, because so often we get so disconnected from this.
It inspires me to think that life is but a projection, a place to learn and grow, and most of all, that we are all connected as one, and that while we lost our connection to nature, the law of nature is altruism. And also, that beyond all the struggles in our lives, there is a force that connects everything, and that there is a reason why we have to go through our challenges in life. The most impressive imprint left the retreat, which was my very first experience how it eventually „feels“ to be connected. I am starting to understand itś about energies I didńt consider before, and itś been the first time I felt „at home“ and not alone with my spiritual journey. It came along my way, when I had nearly given up on this, and therefore I am very happy that it lightened this little spark in me.
