- This topic has 2,623 replies, 147 voices, and was last updated 30 minutes ago by
.
- Replies
We had a friend who was struggling with some group dynamics and left for about a month. The very day he came back, several members of the ten arrived late to our ten meeting because they had just been in a private side meeting together. It also became clear that there’s a side chat among them. Not long after this, that same friend ended up leaving again.
At the retreat, Tony said: the path will hit you square in the place it hurts the most. That’s exactly how this feels. My biggest fear is that the path could turn into just a social club, and when I see these dynamics, it goes straight to that fear. Sometimes it feels like a kind of social hierarchy in the ten, a “first string” and a “second string,” like a high school sports team.
What weighs on me even more is when I see the friends just move on so quickly from this, almost as if nothing was learned. In those moments, I feel the selfishness of it, and then I realize that feeling itself is within me. The friends are like a mirror, and if I feel selfishness in them, it’s because I’m equalizing with those feelings that are also in me. That leaves me feeling selfish for even wanting things to be different. It becomes heavy, like something I can’t overcome in myself.
I haven’t brought this up in the ten, choosing instead to keep it as inner work. I’m trying to follow the guidance I’ve heard: not to let criticism pass my lips, but to judge myself, lower myself, and raise the friends above me. My focus has been: love covers all crimes, anything but leave, there is none else besides Him. And it is I who must love the friends, not the friends who must love me. It is I who must give importance to the friends, not get importance from them. I’ve been praying to bring my heart into the ten, not my mind, and to annul myself before the friends even when my perception makes it difficult.
I don’t want to blow this out of proportion or stir conflict. And I wonder: is this even appropriate to bring up here in the forum? But I also can’t deny that it weighs on me. I’m trying to use it as material for connection, and I’d welcome any feedback.
Well, I don’t know the situation. In my ten there have been side chats, to help a certain friend. Or individuals contact one another. That’s ok. If we’re creating some exclusive chat for some purely social reason or to exclude certain friends, then we won’t have any spiritual benefit because the ten as a whole is the place of my correction. If I’m talking to a friend, it’s as if to the whole ten. If something else is going on, you should scrutinize it as a ten.
Dear Gianni,
at the last Young Group, a friend asked an important question. As a pastor who studies the Scriptures and works with people, he wondered whether he must keep Kabbalah separate from his work or whether he may disseminate it. He was told that perhaps the Creator has given him an additional role to navigate this path.
I bring up this topic because I, too, am a spiritual leader in my community and am inwardly struggling with how to approach this in a way that is aligned with Kabbalah and with the natural laws.
Thank you.
Hi Leila,
You need to reveal the Creator, and from this connection with Him, give your audience exactly what they came for (not Kabbalah), and they will feel the Light to the extent of your connection with the Upper Force.
Dear Gianni, adding to Greg‘s question (thanks friend) , the answer is not really helping me solve the same question . We are asked as women to listen and follow and support, but we are not supposed to speak, teach, sing… literally to be seen. This is what we have been told last Sunday- warmheartedly, but nontheless, it’s been said.All I feel is separation- mankind made separation. Considering I feel anyways that separation and the inability to connect is what’s causing all this massive pain in creation, and it gets worse when it becomes more tangible, am not aligned with that. I don’t have a gender issue here. I have a separation issue. Yes, we maybe are on the beastly level, which is separating us. But where in this is the effort to overcome this? I am not feeling good either in reducing men to sex-oriented physical goal seekers. I don’t see it, I don’t feel it, and I don’t see how it will help us overcome separation to deliberatly create even more separation.
Sorry, I am not understanding this and I am not settling , not because of the gender issue, but because adding to traditional role modeling, we just add separation. It feels wrong, and not from a physical point of view. Trying to live up to spirituality feels hard enough without introducing such laws of separation.
It is making me really sad and feel even more separated that efforts are made to keep this up rather than to overcome it. I may be naive, I am not a man, and yes, there may always be distracting forces between males snd females, and I can absolutely understand some of the explanations… I am just really missing any effort to work on that. Maybe I am just in the wrong place. Whatever, no matter how much we fret about this , the creator will stay the same loving force, and we will stay separated and suffer until we figure out how to overcome this state of separation. But then how are we supposed to do that, if we create laws that foster separation?
We don’t create laws; nature does. We’re simply not familiar with the laws we’re up against. It’s beneficial to learn these laws since they’re going to rule reality whether we know about them or not. And we’re in a situation where we need to hear about them from Kabbalists, since our minds will lead us to conclusions that will lengthen our path and ultimately cause more suffering. Let’s say that here there are hidden laws as powerful as those that determine that atoms connect in the way they do; first, protons are united into the nucleus, and only afterward the electrons join them to form an atom. The protons have to unite together with each other, without the particles of another charge, the electrons. In the history of the universe, these bare nuclei existed for hundreds of thousands of years before electrons could settle into orbits around them. Likewise, I said that the connection of the two halves of the soul of Adam HaRishon comes much later, many degrees from where we are. In the meantime, the men need to connect, and the women connect, independent of one another. Except in the general ways we do, where we do have common lessons together, conventions, in the lessons from Bnei Baruch men and women ask questions and we hear each other and benefit from each other’s unique perspectives and approaches. As for singing, teaching – women can (and do) create songs for other women, teach one another. The main thing though is that these explanations are already superfluous and if we can’t accept the ways of the Kabbalists or we believe those ways to stem from regular human thoughts and habits, then we won’t be able to rise from our degree during this lifetime.
If we accept the Kabbalists and play in these laws, we later see, feel, and understand for ourselves the correctness of their ways.
Please let me preface my question. I’m not asking this to cause a firestorm, division, or anything of the sort. Last Sunday, a question was asked about the difference between men and women in Kabbalah, what roles they can take as it relates to who can teach, sing, or take a leadership position. I am not disparaging the reply that our great friend gave us in the least. Still, it seemed that there were broad generalizations made about the nature of men and how they relate to women, that there is a spiritual root reason for why women are not permitted to teach or sing specifically. Is this based on some sources that we can scrutinize, or is it simply tradition, the culture of our organization? I can’t help but think if we are a part of Adam Harishon and are supposed to be one man in one heart. Please help me understand this…so there is no ambiguity regarding what I am requesting, are there specific sources to support the limitations on women’s role in singing, leadership and teaching?
We’re supposed to be as one man in one heart, but we’re not yet. We’re below the very last spiritual degree, and exist as beasts do. While we are not even on the first spiritual degree, the correct connection between the men and women, the correction for which stems from the Shattering between Adam and Eve, is among the highest spiritual degrees. It’s probably worthwhile to also mention that it’s less the women who have a problem here, but the men, who therefore need to face only each other, and always be before male teachers. It’s specifically men who, in any other form, know how to escape their correction and not advance whatsoever toward spiritual things. However, in old times, when men were not in such a lowly animal state, but on lofty spiritual degrees, there was a generation, for example, when the highest Kabbalist was a woman – so, naturally, everyone studied from her, including the men. Today we don’t have such men and we don’t have such women. Therefore, what you heard are the laws, in the meantime, for our kindergarten. They were also codified in high ancient sources, but we can’t scrutinize those.
As our sages advise us that one must always try to seek advice to bring contentment to the Creator.
Where should one seek advice from? From the Creator? Friends? Instructors or the Teacher, Rav?What does seeking advice mean? Is it to always be in the thought all day, what will bring Him contentment?
Than you
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.