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Question: How do I Overcome Self-Loathing Due to the Recognition of the Evil Inclination?
I recently attended a workshop where we discussed the concept of “feeling the friends.” One of the excerpts we read, from Baal HaSulam’s “The Essence of Religion and Its Purpose,” delved into the idea of the evil inclination. The article explained that as we develop spiritually, we increasingly loathe our own egoism. The more developed we become, the more we reject our egoism and start to feel sparks of altruism.
Here is the excerpt:
“Baal HaSulam, ‘The Essence of Religion and Its Purpose’
The crass, undeveloped person does not recognize egoism as bad at all. Therefore, he uses it openly, without any shame or restraint, stealing and murdering in broad daylight wherever he can. The somewhat more developed sense some measure of their egoism as bad and are at least ashamed to use it in public, stealing and killing openly. But in secret, they still commit their crimes, but are careful that no one will see them.
The even more developed sense egoism as so loathsome that they cannot tolerate it in them and reject it completely, as much as they detect of it, until they cannot, and do not want to enjoy the labor of others. Then begin to emerge in them sparks of love of others, called ‘altruism,’ which is the general attribute of goodness.”
While I understand that recognizing and rejecting our egoism is a necessary part of spiritual development, I find myself in a miserable state, loathing myself for these traits. I know there is no mitzvah in suffering, but I feel stuck and unable to see beyond this stage. How can I navigate this difficult phase of development and move towards a more positive and altruistic mindset? Any advice or tips would be greatly appreciated.
We need to accept that after that, egoism 2.0 is wanting me to regret and suffer from my egoism instead of ascribing it all to the Creator. This is my work again and again each moment, locating where the Creator is shattered in my perception, into pieces that have their own volition. When I come to “There is None Besides Him” then I know that I have nothing to feel bad about and that only He can change this nature that He’s created.
I want to seem like a burden to me…
Do I want to connect with the friends or the Creator needs me to connect with the friends?
The Creator doesn’t need anything. I need to connect with the friends because that’s the Vessel where the Creator is revealed.
The Creator doesn’t need anything, though I don’t yet understand that concept for now. I accept it.
Each time I hear of “the revelation of the Creator to His creatures” in this world, it takes the burden from me to Him. Meaning I am doing it for His sake and not me.
The “His” changes my perception.
1- Is that the right action or the right thinking?
2- What is that burden that I feel? Why would He make His creature to feel that burden?
Yes, this is how you help Him realize the goal of Creation. We feel it as a burden because our nature is to be concerned with ourselves. For that we have fuel. For taking care of the whole rest of Creation, we have no fuel. We need to feel this so we will see where our limit is and where we need His help.
According to the wisdom of Kabbalah, I heard that a person cannot achieve spirituality alone unless they are two or three etc. If they both agree and connect together then the Creator will be revealed between them
1- I wish to ask, what does between mean?
Hi Kima,
Between means beyond one’s skin, everywhere except in my “I”, in the connection of the friends, the Creator is revealed.
In the sources, the word Demand is used quite frequently. Such as the Demand for the Reforming Light. Why is the word Demand used instead of Ask? Demand has quite a different connotation in my mind. Is it not disrespectful to Demand something from the creator instead of Asking because the granting of a request is his will not mine?
Hi Greg,
These are different approaches to the Upper Force, and both are welcome. The thing is, the Upper Force doesn’t receive a request from me as from a man. It’s disrespectful for a man to come to me and demand anything. But when my baby demands, it’s actually adorable. I’m even proud that he is learning how to stand up for himself somewhat. It’s not in his powers to disrespect me, you understand. The Upper Force, in the best case, treats us as a baby from whom it adores any request or demand, the more specific and cogent, the more contentment we give the Creator.
1- How to come to a correct deficiency to bestow?
2- Is it by asking the Creator to give the friends the deficiency or I should pray for the deficiency for myself?
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