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It was easier to hold the intention hearing the text in hebrew. I felt much more peace and harmony than the english reading, because there was no ‘mind’ working and trying to understand content, so the dedication to listening was higher than for the english reading. There are many layers of what I was hearing, which I can’t describe.
Hello you all, I am currently in Kabbalah in action observing the ego and the qualities of reception and bestowal in the daylife, and is interessting and fun and transformative. Nonetheless I feel I need to be in other realms, where I am perceiving different, other than through senses. And so now I get prepared to beginn to read the Zohar.
No questions. I hear the content, I think about it and I even see how it works in me, somehow without words and without being able to describe what happens. My main work in the couple of last years was to observe the ego and its mechanisms it uses to keep me away from my Self among other goals and I missed so hardly people to connect with, going together through life living the correction together ‘working’ together onto the revelation, experiencing the Truth and how we literally change the world being in one mind and one heart. And I can’t wait until this comes true!
It means to stay above. It means to be stronger than yourself, stronger than that, which attacks me. It means I contain what I see, not vice versa. it is in my mind and I have the power over it. It means to step back and just be at service. It means to stop wanting and needing. Peace. And it means too, that if all my brothers and sisters finally do this, I will finally be seen and recognized and apreciated right the way I am, so that I will be allowed and supported to do my unique work here, so that finally my basic needs will be covered (and buy books too!), so that I still can continue to bestow being in this body 😄 yes I know I’ve still put a will to receive in, but this was conscious! And it is true!
It is within Bina where the creature is building the screen, right? And in Zeir Anpin it transforms and bestow. I can recognize this quality in many situations and even phases of the past. But still can’t understand, if it is totally will to receive, how can it be!? A short while before I found Kabbalah I began to realize, that I have been giving in order to receive in the past, and that there are forces which abuse even spiritually, the forgiveness for example, but the pure connection too, the openess. Wow. And the concept of GE/AHP is clarifying my sight on top. This ‘new’ connection between GE and AHP takes place within me and ‘my’ desires as well as between human beings. Somehow at all times. Sorry when I sometimes get to personal detailed, I try to figure out where I am (at) in my life, I am at a very turning point, and I must choose wisly, so I need to get clear where I am and how. Thank you for your assistance and this great first week. The retreat has definetly turned something within me!
Thank you, Gianni, you’re right, I play experiencing a bit with the both qualities of receiving and bestowal. Differencienting what is what getting a feeling of them, and of Myself feeling them. My heart flows in joy when someone achieve his goal for example, or have a succes in what he whished to, I so wish them and am happy about them – that is bestowing, or not? Or I so love to tell the people the holy attributes I see in them – is this not betowing? If I just stay in peace somewhere, so I bestow my environment with peace. If I ask someone smth I trust him he can give me en answer, so I bestow trust to him and gratefulness for his bestowing. Do I see wrong? I am exercising for a couple of years on giving like I receive from Creator, but yes, only alone, and in time sequences, because I had no friends on this level, and connected friends is core, I can confirm it from my experience.
Everything is bestowing, everything I am writing here for example. Because I decided (somewhen) that God’s Will is my Will and to give myself to the Holy Spirit following His guidance even then, when I am uncouncious. I think that the quality of self-giving, of devoting, of self-dedicating is printed in the female aspect. The willingness to die actually. The male aspect is defending and avoiding death, and the death is only in the mind, while the women let the death go through herself. She is somehow more near to death and life, even through her cycle and giving birth to children. The death takes place in her essence. Bestowing is like dying.
