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Hi Albert, thank you for the clarification. For context, the pain I am referring to is the loss of my son 7 years ago. I still struggle with the pain of that loss on a regular basis. This method of Kabbalah has provided me a healthy way to understand and reconcile that pain as a way to develop me and draw me closer to the creator. Kabbalah has really been the only thing that makes that make sense. In this lesson, it says that god doesn’t hear our prayers, for the most part. I understand this to a certain extent in that everything that comes from the creator is good, and is meant to develop us. When I pray and ask God to take away the past, it is almost as if I’m saying that God you got it wrong. I’m trying to break through that, and trying to be thankful for everything. But it’s discouraging to think that God doesn’t hear our prayers. what is the correct way to go to the creator with my heart with this pain I have?
my role is to follow the path of light instead of the path of pain. That is done through the correction of my desires. My corrected self then helps correct others. Others see the light and are corrected by it.
I am somewhere in the stages of single concealment and double concealment, and it is absolutely miserable
What does it mean to view reality from the perspective of the creator? I have no idea! Meaning, at this moment, there is not a single thread of my being that is able to sense anything other than the will to receive. What I’m starting to gather from these teachings is that even our imagination depends on things that we’ve already seen or felt. But what I sense is that “it means” to see, feel, understand the world from a place of complete rest. That gives me great peace. To know that there is something outside of myself that is unchanging and good and that it is actually not outside of myself but I’m a part of it.
In the interaction portion of this week, it stated that the creator doesn’t hear our prayers. That bums me out a little bit. I always imagined having an intimate conversation with God, but in reality, it never really happens like that does it. I suppose those conversations are so saturated in egoism that it would never really be possible. In reality, and I kind of suspected this all along, the only single real prayer is an effort made by an individual individual, particularly in the heart, to perceive the creator and implore him to grant the individual confidence in the possibility of attaining spiritual life.
I was at a Christian church this morning and the service was about prayer. The service went over Jesus in Gethsemane and his prayer that not his will be done but the will of the creator. The whole service was about the creators will be done and not the creation. It was exactly this message about changing egoism to altruism. Arguably, the self sacrifice of Jesus brought billions into ‘religion’. And religion is how many start their relationship with the creator. It did for me, until it wasn’t enough. I dont feel many inconsistencies in my heart between the two teachings. Where do the teachings diverge, not on a dogma level, but on a core heart level?
