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I gained better understanding of how working in a group develops/expands the kli. The diagram in Week 4 showing the “mechanics” of how the group works was of much benefit to my mind’s understanding.
By loving another as myself with the shared goal of attaining spirituality, we amplify the group’s intention to receive in order to bestow. I elevate everyone else’s desires above my own egoic desire, thus creating a greater “pull” to draw me upward. Instead of “1” working alone, we each gain 9 times our intention.
I appreciate learning more about creating a spiritual environment. I feel that much of my frustration from studying Kabbalah comes from the fact that I have, thus far, mostly studied the texts in isolation. I look forward to what occurs after I become part of a group. In that past, I have been notorious for feeling “trapped” whenever I’ve become involved in groups. I assume that has been my ego nature pulling me away from others. It will be interesting to see how this goes moving forward. Glad to know there are others interested in real spiritual growth and trusting that my ego can stay on board.
It seems that the shift from egoic perspective to altruistic perspective is to become conscious of loving the other as the self. THAT, however, seems yet to remain mysterious in meaning.
I was surprised to learn that Bina is actually divided between something called GAR and ZAT. I am interested to learn more about how these diagrams interpret into some form of meaningful experience for both myself and other students. I keep reminding myself that nothing we are learning is said to be about this world’s experiences. I’m holding on to the promise that this is all leading somewhere and is not just an endless treadmill of repetition. I listen to the videos of Michael Laitman, Tony Kosinec and other KabU instructors and I feel like I’m listening to a foreign language, all the while being told to just be patient and trust that one day it will all make sense. I wish only the best for others and for the world of humanity to become more loving…..for ME to become more loving. All I have so far is a continuation of vague, cranial information and loads of books which seem cumbersome, complex and unrelatable to life. I am appreciative for the opportunity to learn more about Kabbalah through KabU…..and it would be dishonest of me to say that I am gaining any form of clarity.
