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The lingering question is, what is the light that one rejects?
If an adverse event comes our way, is that natural aversion defined as rejection of the the adversity because we don’t sense the Creator? Further, does light from the Creator come in the form of adversity and prosperity? Is it our understanding and response to either what we’re all working on?
I reached the end of Kabbalah Revealed Part 1 with a pretty good understanding of some basics but, apparently, there’s a lab that goes with that.
No sooner did I enter Part 2 did I hit a couple of inconvenient setbacks that elicited a familiar response. Anxiety and a little fear over the outcome entered my mind and my body responded with that uneasy feeling; grasping for immediate ways out.
I didn’t feel the Creator. However, I forced my attention on the the idea the Creator sent this to me to show me where I stood and where I stood wasn’t quite as solid as I thought. The intellectual part was there, but not the conviction; the belief. So every time I felt doubt and insecurity. The setbacks actually began to resolve but the insight remained. I’m not going to get too comfortable with my progress on the material without my progress on the belief.
Am I getting this right?
That statement actually makes a lot of sense now. The idea of multiple competing forces; that any event can arise from anything other than one Creator, comes into direct contradiction with the sophistication of so many observable laws, like biology, physics, medicine, emotions, language, etc.. So that’s my starting point; There is None Else Besides Him. Because, if all these things work perfectly, if birds fly in flocks thousand of miles to specific destination every year; if salmon swim upstream in the same way to spawn and die in the exact place they hatched; if my heart beats without even a thought; if bones heal, then there is no force opposing any of that. So, opposition must only come from inside me and inside each of us. Now, I begin to perceive the Creator with more intention and the “me” with more intention. I want to understand what I actually am and what the Creator actually is. That’s a feeling and an intellectual requirement.
I enjoyed the readings, the videos and the warmth of the group. These are all putting words to feelings I have had for a long time; that desire to understand why I’m here, who I really am and most important, who sent me and who made me? As I get older, the world actually makes less and less sense. There’s a lot that’s good, but so many seemingly pointless obstacles. So much disconnection. So many distractions. So many dead ends in the search for truth. Love became the least common denominator and I could vaguely trace the source to a Creator but I didn’t have words. It certainly feels much more important than I realized in my youth, but what is love exactly? Kabbalah Revealed Part 1 lays out a quite plausible context for it all. The course revealed that that feeling is called “The Point In The Heart” and I hung my hat on that as I prayed for help to learn the next lesson in front of me. As I absorbed lessons, my appetite for understanding developed along with an appetite for union with the Creator. I now understand these two appetites are actually fundamental pillars that balance the middle path. What seemed strange at first (Kli’s, lights, evolution of phases of development, concealment and much more) slowly began to look connected. I can now see enough to keep building.
What most inspired me in the course? The course awakened the awareness of the Creator in me and around me at all times. That idea, for some reason, took on a whole new meaning and became real to such a degree, that it allowed me to see it as a reality. That awareness guided and inspired me in my daily life and as I read and watched the material.
What have I learned about myself in the process? I began to understand that I am actually a spark of the divine. I thought I understood this but now I feel it and focus much more intentionally on that very important principal.
What do I wish for my fellow students in their spiritual development? If everyone else is more or less at my level of development in this course of understanding, my strongest wish is that each one of us starts with the belief that we are not the ego. We are divine souls united with the Creator. What we have yet to perceive is greater and greater perception as we learn the mechanics. That conviction motivates us as we navigate the course.
Believe in the upper force and focus on it throughout the day, everyday in everything you do. Becoming aware of it establishes the connection. Reading Kabbalah with intention to perceive the upper force, not to memorize or necessarily understand everything increases faith and the upper force begins to act on you.
