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As I watched the video “Perception of Reality”, I remembered the quote, “God is love and love is God.”
Love is a thing, the video says, and not just a thing. It’s THE thing I should be working to let in. I can ascend with that.
What is it? I feel it, but I can’t really define it. Where does it live? Is there a lot more out there? Can I please have more of that? Can I build something beautiful with it? What would that big, beautiful thing be and for who? I don’t want it but I want others to have it!
I want to perceive the divine reason for my own particular victories, defeats, choices, mistakes, good deeds, sacrifices, setbacks, suffering… the whole chaotic bundle.
In this part of my life called “the youth of old age” I am losing the drive to re-establish what I lost and even to attain anything else, but still have to live here. A part of me is done with it all, another wants to continue but not for the same reasons that brought me here.
I still want to protect my wife, continue to be a source of love and inspiration to our grown children, nurture our grandchildren; to be the best friend, brother, uncle, businessman and person I can be. I feel a strong calling to reconcile the books, to openly share everything that’s in my heart and in my mind but I don’t know exactly how to balance the desire to love with the need to keep building. I want to build something but it has to be beautiful and it can’t just be for me. I has to be for… someone or something else.
For who? For what?
The unmistakable voice of my ego whispers all is lost, but a faint voice in the distance tells me there was a higher reason for every moment, every step. In some passing thoughts that have begun to stay a little longer, every memory of the past reveals the true dimensions of my ego and I have to look away. But I continue to stare sometimes now because from this point it seems I can build the screens to allow the light to enter.
The light. What is this light I feel drawn to?
Someone please show me how you build a screen so I can meet this light!
I expect to gain a clearer understanding of how I can access the world of causes (the higher world) to get control over my life and feel a union with the Creator.
Hi.
Like you, I am genuinely interested in finally learning why we’re here exactly, examining my life and figuring out the path to uniting with the Creator.
I was raised a catholic, brought my kids up in catholic schools and along the way figured out there wasn’t really anything to that, at least as far as I could see. I practice spirituality but I want something more concrete. An operating manual? ☺️
