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This is where things get challenging for me. I’m quite narcissistic. The fact that I’m self-aware doesn’t really help – I’ve been this way all my life due to a combination of both genetic and environmental factors. These behaviors, this pathological world view, is pretty much “baked in”. But the study of Kabbalah has given me an entirely new perspective on what’s REALLY going on. And so, as much as my ego resists, I now understand what needs to be done, and why. And I know that, though I am weak and prone to making “mistakes”, the Creator is not. I’m here for a reason, and I now understand and am beyond grateful to find myself where I am on this journey. And however difficult it might be going forward – putting my ego aside and working with – and FOR – others – I an willing to do so, for my Maker.
As many others have said, it seems we (the current bunch of students) are ready to take the foundational lessons we’ve learned and begin working in a small, focused group of like-minded people.
On a side note: as time goes by (particularly the last week or so), I’ve been feeling more and more anxious and irritable. I haven’t been able to focus. I’ve been feeling more and more fearful of the future and, as a result, often losing myself in an idealized fantasy of the past.
After studying Kabbalah for a while now, I have little doubt that this is all a desperate attempt of my ego to resist the changes that are coming, to resist the Surrounding Light that is working on it.
It’s been difficult lately, but I just have to ground myself in the true reality that is the Creator and His plan, and keep walking the path.
Echoing what others have said, we need to understand, to feel, to LIVE “there is none else beside Him”. We need to live the reality that everything we encounter – every single person, place, thing experience or sensation in life – is in fact the Creator. This realization, this shift in perspective – changes absolutely everything.
Just wanted to say that I’m really enjoying the readings for this course. Feels like “next level” stuff – and I can sense my Surrounding Lights working on me as I read, listen, absorb and try – more or less effectively – to implement what I’m learning.
No idea what to expect, just keeping an open mind. Hoping to discover how I can apply what I’ve learned so far to my everyday life.
What a trip. I feel like the Creator led me here by first letting me blow my life up by being an egotistical jerk. I nearly lost everything, but somehow didn’t. Did a lot of soul searching. It was awful, but I learned a lot. “Found” Kabbalah after decades of being a spiritual seeker and seemingly going around in circles. The most mind blowing lesson? That being a narcissistic loser was always the Creator’s plan for me. And not only for me, apparently, but for society in general. Selfishness. Entitlement. It’s everywhere. Humanity is seemingly at its worst. And yet, it turns out that this has always been the intention and – irony of ironies – it is mine and so many others’ craven, small-minded egoism that is the very key to humanity’s, and all of earthy life’s, salvation. We just need to learn to use our God-given ego in a better way. Not destroy it, but simply “adjust” it so it functions correctly. Wow. Only God Himself could have devised a plan like that. Amazing. I am beyond grateful to have such a loving Creator. My mind is blown and my heart is open. What a trip. Let’s go!
