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How can I feel that…? In hindsight, I suppose. You see, I believe that he is good that does good, and because I believe that with faith above reason, I can see that everything in my life has brought me to this point… I.e. if it wasn’t for my divorce, I wouldn’t have met my current wife and I wouldn’t have my little girl, whom I would do anything to protect…. It that’s just a personal example. I have to trust the creator and, by default, trust the process. It is because of my personal history that I know these things, which is why I say, in hindsight. Now, I feel confident that there is none else besides him and that he is good that does good. Maybe a better answer would be, “by putting the ego in its place and accepting my current condition as proof positive that he is good that does good.” What do you say? How can we feel that the entire reality is the will of the creator?
Hello Friends,
I enjoyed the feedback during the last course.
In this course, I expect to further engage with you, friends, to connect with your desires, whatever they may be.I have been given excellent answers the entire time. What inspires me is that I could participate in a group of 10 to assist in the goal of creation.
I’m having a really hard time putting words to this, so please bare with me.
I feel such an intense pulling towards Kabbalah, like I’m a dog on a leash, constantly distracted, and the human keeps walking, so I get my collar jerked often.
For more than a month now I’ve felt such a high level of anxiety and it’s pouring over into almost every part of my life… as if I’m living in a “bad trip.”
I listen to the morning and afternoon lessons with Rabbi Laitman and the world Kli throughout the day while I’m walking or even working (music certainly isn’t doing it for me like it used to anymore… other than songs from my childhood, but even that can make me cry) and there are times I will feel a sense of calm, but it’s almost immediately replaced with self scrutiny, for who am I to have peace when the whole world is in turmoil… and I can feel it like a pain in my chest.
Sometimes, my mind will go to the absolute darkest of places, especially when reading the news… I know that I’m supposed to see the world in it’s already corrected state, but I’ve got so much anger and hatred inside me. I used to have peace and was easy going, but I got taken advantage of often… I’m a father now, and I can’t live like I used to.
On the bright side, I am dreaming again… like I haven’t in years. In a way, I do feel like I’m progressing, but I feel that I have miles and miles, worlds and worlds to go.
My wife tells me there’s no point in worrying about the problems of the world when I have a wife and child that need me… but I can’t shake this horrible feeling that something is terribly wrong – I’m not even “trying” to think about anything, but I feel like a fool when I avoid the news and I can’t help but remember about all the racist, bigoted things my grandparents, aunts, and uncles have ever said… and I have a multi-racial child… it’s like I’m digging a hole that’s hard to come out of, so I end up napping during the day to “hit the reset button” in between jobs so my level of work is on point.
I don’t want to say any more on the subject, but I feel I’ve laid something of a backdrop for my question with that word salad… so:
How can we accelerate the coming of the messiah? Or, maybe, what is the difference between equivalence of form with the creator and peace? Should I seek peace or should I be grateful that HaShem is working on me and just let this run its course?
I’ll say this, just writing this out has given me some relief, but I don’t know how to feel about that.
Thank you for putting up with me.
