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Concerning the 4 factors of emergence, specifically 3&4; the nutrients of my current environment is in form of conservative Christianity, self supporting individualism, individual freedom. Somehow I was able to receive something outside of this environment that allowed me to choose an internal opposite, seeking true spiritual life. To keep this change in isolation, even with correct books, guides, courses is going to be either a very slow painful swimming against the current or a resegnation to the forces of this environment where I currently live. Since I cannot afford to move this is a fixed environment with forces I choose to no longer adhere to but this has led to a long journey of on and off spiritual seeking. My question, if I choose to continue in these studies and enter a group of ten, will choosing this environment bring the strength I currently lack now? Will this choice transform the current environmental internal battle so that I may see and feel the peace of there is none else besides Him no matter the situation? I can understand the concepts being taught, understand direction that needs to be chosen, but need more than this, I need a practical form of application, is this what comes from the group work? I really want to change my internal world but factor 3 of emergence is stronger than my isolated desire to connect with the Creator. I need help!
Freedom as I understand is to choose the intention to receive to bestow and bestow to bestow. I am far from being able to perform this intention so I choose to read Kabbalah books with purpose of attracting the reforming light, I choose to spend time in these courses and participate with others for same reason. All this choosing to draw the reforming light to reduce the current contrast that my will to receive has in regards to the Creator’s qualities.
My question is in context of correct attitude related to a corporeal situation. Situation is significant strained work relationship with another that does not hold same work ethics. Trying to fix using corporeal methods ie. conflict resolution etc. does not change the illusion! So would changing my attitude towards the situation by placing emphasis on the light be a correction for my desires in this situation. Would my desire to experience what the light is offering for the sake of the light and movement towards adhesion be correct desire, attitude, emphasis? Current egoistic desire is to change the other and not myself and this never works!
I have had the understanding there is none else besides Him for many years but the actual sensation of this truth has been few and momentary. After watching the video I realize that over the years where I placed emphasis was upside down, seeing the ills/darkness of humanity with greater emphasis than the light of the creator. Spending significant time and energy working within the system of illusion trying to bring beneficial change that I now recognize was just more illusion. I am here in these courses to bring change to my emphasis in a manner that brings true benefit to humanity and creation.
The first course illuminated to me the degree of (stuff) from 60 years of life that is working to block clarity on receiving this material. I hope and will work in this second course to set this stuff down to participate openly and just receive information as it is presented so that I can focus on transforming my desires intention.
What inspired me in this course was the instructors responding to all the questions creating a sense of initial group connection.
I have learned that my ego does not want to connect in a group setting but there is a deeper desire to connect spiritually.
I wish connection for all and a quickening of creations final correction.
