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My current software of receiving for maximum benefit for myself never realizes the intention leaving me experiencing a form of emptiness or maybe incompleteness. So I am here now in these courses working to change the software then evaluate the results. I am putting the effort in these courses with desire to be more like the creator, and faith in this path is building as much internal change is happening ie. deeper understanding and compassion for this ego of mine that has struggled and grasped at illusions to have hand return empty creating much internal chaos, noise, and ultimately loneliness.
The law seems as an illusion as my actions may be wanting maximum benefit or believing it will attain maximum benefit but the benefit comes and goes never being the maximum benefit, the benefit that stops the constant seeking and longing. So I know I need to do something different, thus my participation here.
My life has undergone much change and the larger more identifiable shifts came from an internal experience that seems to be guiding me towards change, this is how I was led to Kabbalah. So I have a faith in the connection to this self version that resides in a higher spiritual attainment that continues to motivate me, push me when I want to stop, and is now giving internal assurances that this is the path.
In this moment of correction that is before me I would say correcting my egoistic fear of connecting with others. This is reason I am taking these courses and working through my fears to respond in these forums. I am going on faith this will help with tuning to spiritual evolution for myself and of all humanity.
First evolve to unite with same intention of bestowal that will create something beyond my current ability to imagine, indeed my imagination currently has doubts that we can all unite! This is the reason for my need to study and connect on deeper level so I do not have to imagine but attain to dispel these doubts.
