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Hello everyone, my name is Joseph and I live in Maine USA. I have always been drawn to study different religions, ego and spiritual development, along with many counseling techniques to help bring some form of healing to the people that come to counseling sessions with me. I would like to gain a form of connection with others that are also studying this material as this is my greatest ego fear in this moment that I desperately desire correction for. My experience is that being curious and challenging information I receive while working to integrate new ways of perceiving has always led to ridicule from others. My ego does not want to open up to connecting with others and just to write this is a battle inside that may keep me from sleeping tonight.
Growing up in home with the rule be seen but not heard created significant communication deficiency in my marriage which created struggles of understanding and trusting being free to communicate anything that was going on inside me, this created separation and took me 10 years of much suffering to overcome. Even as I write in this box now to a space where I do not know the other I have an energy of this is not right to be sharing. Beliefs can be very ingrained in many facets. I am 60 years old, have worked as a counselor dealing with these issues in others as well as in myself, and yet as this moment points out there always seems to feel like a lingering shadow of this belief will always follow.
I have been married 40 years and wife and I can hear each others thoughts at times, we know each other deeply but the first 10 years of marriage were hell as we did not have the information being learned in this course. I wish all newly married couples could have this information to start their lives together with. I am a counselor and many marriage issues stem from childhoods and people picking a partner to fix that had same issues as related to parental connection in childhood.
I think egoism is too strong as in the United States I was encultured in consumerism, strive for wealth, and then in workplaces that I have been in there is the need to have power or dominance over the worker, they actually openly subscribed to philosophy that the workers work better/produce more when put under stress. As you might imagine, this papermill work was very taxing for every aspect of the worker’s life, much addiction, very high divorce rate, early deaths, much illness.
Yes I recognize the affects, although I perform counseling with many contacts with people through the week, I am a loner. I have been a loner most of my life, then in my 40’s had a severe illness that required stem cell transplant to put in remission. I have just learned in this session that an increase in social connection is the medicine I need to keep this illness in remission. Unfortunately, I live in an area that most people are in negative mindset as their life has been turned upside down by papermill closures and connecting with them is having to listen to negative energy discussions. I am quite isolated from spiritual seeking people to connect with.
