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The purpose that is at the top of my mind right now is from the reading material of the previous section.
It seemed to say that the sefirot themselves are composed of the reflected light. This would mean that the only way we can attain them is to perform the action of making a screen (a commitment not to accept a specific light into a specific desire) and then using it to redirect light (fulfillment of that desired thing) onto others, so that we would be able to see the qualities of the Creator in the redirected light.
I think this means that the purpose is to prompt us to make that action. To understand that the Creator is there and everything good is coming from Him. And with this knowledge, we reject some of that good coming to us in order to give it to someone else. And that the power of this comes from deeply desiring this thing for ourselves, and giving it away anyway, specifically because we know the Creator desires this. (The purpose of the course is to help us achieve this detailed understanding above reason without being able to see it for ourselves, since we are not in the spiritual world.) And in the results of such an act we might get to see the image of the Creator etched out, and know Him. And when we know Him we will have the ability to cleave to Him.
That is how it seems to me at this point based on the course materials so far.
Is the rosh the awareness of the Light?
To the degree Malchut is aware she’s rejecting the Light, and why she’s rejecting it, and from whom she is rejecting it, and this awareness shapes her intention… Â that would be the rosh.
And, equal and opposite to that on the other side of the screen, she could allow the Light to fill the toch to the same degree that her intention had become correct?
If we did not first learn the laws of an egoistic reality, we would have no opportunities to apply effort to achieve the true reality of bestowal. And there would be no contrast to perceive and achieve it in full understanding. We needed to first feel out its opposite in a million subtle and gross ways, to then appreciate the Creator’s qualities in each and every one of those opposing ways.
But how do you keep engaging with the text if you can’t grasp onto something for your intellect to chew on some level? I can commit to spending a certain amount of time a day reading it. But any continuity at all in the “story” of it is the carrot on a stick to keep my brain from wandering away from it. I have to let it imagine something or it will play dead.
How do you cultivate a desire to attain it, if you’re not allowed to contrive any semblance of an idea of what it is that you’re straining for? It irritates me how little desire I can muster for the things I’m supposed to desire. But I do still have the desire to keep studying, because there’s a narrative I can follow and that is entertaining. I know this is not entertainment, but I don’t want to lose the desire I do have.
I listen to the videos and the suggested reading during my work day, and I read the Zohar before bed, because I read that I should do that. Do you think I should read some other specific thing before bed, and wait until some point to go back to the Zohar?
When we see people in our world who seem to have no shame, but seem to rule and control everything, are these forces like “the accuser” or “angels” that are like Nature applying pressure to us? Or are they just depictions of part of ourselves? Is seeing someone else not having shame part of growing our ability to perceive spiritual shame?
