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I did want to mention though, You may have misunderstood, I was not asking if kabbalah would solve my wifes PTSD, I was asking if I would be able to move forward in my own spiritual path by taking part in a small group and studying teachings even though my environment at home is toxic.
My question is about environment. I am very much looking forward to becoming part of a group. This all makes so much sense. Here is my question. I am married. My wife loves God as she understands him. Before meeting my wife i was in a period of deep connection with God as I understood him. I felt the creators leading deeply. Believing I was being led to do so I married my wife. She loves others like no one I ever knew. Helping the homeless on her own as well as working at a not for profit. She Has PTSD from her childhood, I wonder now about her intentions ( maybe to calm her own anxiety )I did not know how deeply the PTSD from her traumatic childhood would effect our relationship or my faith in God that began hanging by a thread. Somedays i feel like I’m under attack emotionally, and that all the anxiety she carries is being put on me while she puts on a wonderful face for the world to see. I love her. And don’t want to see her go through this alone. Is it possible to be successful in Kabbalah still living in this situation if I am part of a small group.
My heart is telling me that the allegory in the scriptures will teach me to become closer to the creator. Religion is not my goal. Knowing that I am pleasing the creator is the goal.  My understanding has changed. I know the New Testament is also full of allegory. Pearls I suspect. I cant speak of this to my friends or family though; it upsets them so I stay quite.
