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In my experience, the deep desire to communicate, to know what my true path is out of suffering is what brought me to “get in touch with the upper force.” My grandmother told me when I was just 3 or 4 years old that there was someone I couldn’t see who loved me dearly, wanted me to be safe and was always there for me to talk to. That was so important because of things I was going through. I’m 70 years old now. This first lesson into spirituality from my grandmother has never left me.
Starting to be able to put past suffering into better perspective. Also, I don’t want to loose the great inner dialogue I’ve always had with my Creator. It’s not disrespectful, it’s just very loving. I’ve found some of the kabalah concepts confusing my personal relationship with my Creator. Help me understand who really helped me through the traumas of my past. In my mind and heart HE has always been a very loving Father figure guiding me. I don’t want to loose that life line. It would be crushing to find out I was just talking to myself because it didn’t feel like that. Then again, (this is so confusing) we started from one Source before we became scattered parts or points of the heart.
Speaking from where I am today in my progress forward into understanding kabbalah: I wish and pray for all those who are at the stage I am the determination to keep moving forward, even when the concepts seem foreign. I loved the analogy of the microwave oven that I saw here recently.We don’t have to know how the oven is made in order to push the button to make it work. Eventually in time understanding will come as long as we stay the course on our learning path. (And strive to stay in the middle).
I gained comfort in knowing that I don’t have to understand every concept or word that’s being expressed in these lessons. (I’m watching a lot of figurative birds flying overhead). The analogy of the microwave oven made so much sense to me… I don’t have to know how the darn thing is made in order to get it to work – just push that button.
Another thing that was illuminating was to understand that I personally have a connection from my branch to a root above. It made the graphic drawn of the connections of all above more real for me. I live pretty isolated and lonely. Even just this one concept made my life here a bit easier to bear.
I am grasping the difference between intellectual learning, and nurturing the spark in my heart to grow.
