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Hi I am Stephen, My nickname is Cobbet ot the Shire. It is not easy to question your reality. for 74 years I have been immersed in this world where everything seems as it is. However, I know that I can’t trust my own eyes because my brain makes decisions to ‘correct’ the way I see things. I may desire to see things the way they are but unless I use a corrective lens It is not possible. Kabbalah serves as a corrective lens enabling us to progress in understanding. I am limited because I have no one to study with. however much I wish to cross the barrier to higher levels I cannot. However much I beg the Creator for help no help seems to come. I sometimes feel that I am a voice crying out in the wilderness.
Now I am 74 I realise that time seems to pass faster as each year passes. that is of course I am not in the dentist chair. So I try to live live as if each day is the last. This has led me to try to love those I come into contact with. Family and friends are easier than casual contacts. I try to speak to those who are homeless and on the streets. these tend to fall into two types those who are trying to keep clean and want to find somewhere to live, and those who are addicted to alcohol and drugs. both groups have produced quite deep conversations although most of the latter are hoping for a hand out by talking to me. I also try to speak to shop workers and others. I also take advantage of the opportunities life presents for enjoyment.
As for the Kabbalah I recognise that I am a late starter and have much still to learn and far to go. I try to put my trust in the creator and seek his help on the journey. I watch as many videos as I possibly can. and join Live groups when available. These are more difficult because I am disabled and need to to sleep when some of the videos are on. I used to be a night owl and study at all hours but these days I drop off to sleep during the day. Despite all this I enjoy studying the Kabbalah and I certainly enjoy life and am happier  than I have ever been.
I know in my head that I have to progress to the next level, I desire it in my heart, I the past I have felt and believed that each of us has a G-d shaped space within us and G-d has a me shaped space within the divine. I believe that Kabbala a way forward, but I don’t seem to progress to the next stage. I find this frustrating and all I seem to be able to do is cling on with hope. I believe all organised religions become destructive and are more interested in protecting the organisation and the power of the leaders. When push coves to shove Christian Bishops will drop the individual for the good of the organisation. What can I do? Is there hope for me? at the moment I feel like a vessel made for destruction.  I hasten to say that this feeling is from my past but it still raises its ugly head.
The ego is not a bad thing, it is how we use or allow our ego to develop that is important.
Do not take the teaching at face value but test every thing and make it your own.
Hi, my name is Stephen. I live in the UK near a City called Leeds. I have just graduated and am ready to learn as much as I can as well as join the young group. I am 74 years old so I know I might not have long to study and am Unlikely to progress very far before I have to pass on beyond the veil of death. Whatever lies ahead does not worry me.
I am a wheelchair user and can only walk short distances. but I have never been so happy.
