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(If this is not an okay thing to post here, feel free to delete it, no hard feelings.)
What is blowing my mind right now?
(Actually, more like horrifying/terrifying my mind right now?)
If there are only 2 things: the creator and the creation
Doesn’t this mean that when all is said and done, there is just one consciousness all alone?
To “Human it up” a bit, I imagine being alone for all of eternity, going insane, making up imaginary friends, hallucinating/dreaming all of this?
If there is only one thing, then there is nothing to compare anything to and everything is meaningless.
How can you be the fastest runner, if there is only one runner?
You’re the fastest and the slowest and everything and nothing.
If it’s just us, we can fail, there is nothing protecting us.
There is this concern that I keep hiding from myself, forgetting the truth because it renders everything meaningless, but then because of my nature, I always remember eventually that I’m all alone.
If we judge by the laws of the noetic mind, we can say that he has attained everything he could attain in that essence, and even if he contemplated it for another thousand years, he would not add to it even an iota. Yet, in the beginning it is very similar to… meaning he sees everything but understands none of what he sees. Yet, by the passing of time he will have to attain additional matters, similar to Ibur (conception), Yenika (nursing), Mochin (adulthood), and a second Ibur. At that time, he will begin to feel and use his attainments in every way he wishes.
However, in truth, he did not add a thing to the attainments he had achieved in the beginning. It is rather like ripening: previously it was unripe, hence he could not understand it, and now its ripening has completed.
It took me a while to understand that we are fated to be still takers, as my faulty perception of things gave me a first impression that we should become just givers. And besides, no matter how much I study, I’m still shocked at how this Ego guy makes such miseries in our lives. I don’t understand very well, how can something that is part of us, in this case the Ego, be something so petty and selfish.
I have been searching for a satisfying definition of “faith” for a very, very long time. I had goosebumps just reading the Section on the types of faith in “Attaining the World Beyond”, e.g., that faith is our perception – “a sense of the Creator”, page 24. That revealed to me that it’s not about the blind leading the blind. Rather, it is about using our ego altruistically – which opens our perception and grows our vessel. That realization helped to solve many concerns and difficulties I was having in my understanding of the spiritual world. At the same time, I see that I have a lot of work, due to “how much earthly, selfish reasoning” (page 26) that I have developed over my lifetime.
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