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It means to stay above. It means to be stronger than yourself, stronger than that, which attacks me. It means I contain what I see, not vice versa. it is in my mind and I have the power over it. It means to step back and just be at service. It means to stop wanting and needing. Peace. And it means too, that if all my brothers and sisters finally do this, I will finally be seen and recognized and apreciated right the way I am, so that I will be allowed and supported to do my unique work here, so that finally my basic needs will be covered (and buy books too!), so that I still can continue to bestow being in this body 😄 yes I know I’ve still put a will to receive in, but this was conscious! And it is true!
It is within Bina where the creature is building the screen, right? And in Zeir Anpin it transforms and bestow. I can recognize this quality in many situations and even phases of the past. But still can’t understand, if it is totally will to receive, how can it be!? A short while before I found Kabbalah I began to realize, that I have been giving in order to receive in the past, and that there are forces which abuse even spiritually, the forgiveness for example, but the pure connection too, the openess. Wow. And the concept of GE/AHP is clarifying my sight on top. This ‘new’ connection between GE and AHP takes place within me and ‘my’ desires as well as between human beings. Somehow at all times. Sorry when I sometimes get to personal detailed, I try to figure out where I am (at) in my life, I am at a very turning point, and I must choose wisly, so I need to get clear where I am and how. Thank you for your assistance and this great first week. The retreat has definetly turned something within me!
Thank you, Gianni, you’re right, I play experiencing a bit with the both qualities of receiving and bestowal. Differencienting what is what getting a feeling of them, and of Myself feeling them. My heart flows in joy when someone achieve his goal for example, or have a succes in what he whished to, I so wish them and am happy about them – that is bestowing, or not? Or I so love to tell the people the holy attributes I see in them – is this not betowing? If I just stay in peace somewhere, so I bestow my environment with peace. If I ask someone smth I trust him he can give me en answer, so I bestow trust to him and gratefulness for his bestowing. Do I see wrong? I am exercising for a couple of years on giving like I receive from Creator, but yes, only alone, and in time sequences, because I had no friends on this level, and connected friends is core, I can confirm it from my experience.
Everything is bestowing, everything I am writing here for example. Because I decided (somewhen) that God’s Will is my Will and to give myself to the Holy Spirit following His guidance even then, when I am uncouncious. I think that the quality of self-giving, of devoting, of self-dedicating is printed in the female aspect. The willingness to die actually. The male aspect is defending and avoiding death, and the death is only in the mind, while the women let the death go through herself. She is somehow more near to death and life, even through her cycle and giving birth to children. The death takes place in her essence. Bestowing is like dying.
To Video 1.5: in fact whole of my purpose what I’ve ever had in life since when I am here was to share the joy I felt inside enjoying the others receiving it and giving it back. I remained in that phase, because – as I can percieve so far – didn’t receive it. But I know they would be happy receiving and giving it back, so I’ve always wished (and worked on) they may receive it – now, what do I do here? – is this the will to bestow, or will to receive? I am happy if they are happy, so they go first – this is will to bestow in order to receive? Or will to receive in order to bestow? 🧐🙄 Confused
1.To Video 1.4 about Parsut (?): So, can I say in other words that in Parsut bestowing and receiving are one? In quality and in will, the lower self or ego ceasing to exist becoming a chanel in giving to others what it receives from above?
2. Did I understand right?, bestowing in order to receive is still within the ego, what is an “another way around ego” experiencing minus, or lack? But if others would bestow back to it what it has been bestowing, and if it would have receiving it, it would have been working, right? Isn’t this the ground on which “treat your brother like you want to be treated” and “love thy brother as thyself” take place? But yes, only with the condition of interconnection, and here is the critical pont.
Since I amthe will to receive I will accept this inclusively being here on earth at service having a pysical form. In order to serve for my unique purpose my earhly needs should be covered, otherwise I can’t serve, and I hope that the course will help me to allow myself to have needs and to wanting them to be covered. Then I wish to become more able to hear exactly what the Creator wish my purpose would be here and if I really am supposed to accompany Germany to get connected to its soul (or He wish me for smth else to serve). And that serving in that mission would covered my needs too. And that He will revealed to me what to do, where to go, what to say and to whom – concret steps and how to take them. And finally but not least I wish to find and experience a strong group with strong connection in order to feel a strong ground in this connection as a support in fullfilling my mission here. So I desire to learn ‘how to’ – long story short 😄
