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I am experiencing beginning awareness of my deficiency in living to the truth there is none else besides Him.
I pray for my fellow students to have connection with mutual guarantee to facilitate climbing the ladder of spiritual degrees.
The converter is the desire to unite with the others in the group in a manner that sustains growth of deeper connection.
I have been in Kabu for 1 year, spend at least 2 hours a day in some form of study, have gone from high of awe on scientific concepts to low of despair on left line. In the 5.4 video statement is we should quarantine the thoughts from the left side until we are stronger. I am struggling to do this, the more I avoid the stronger the thoughts. I work as a trauma therapist with adults that experienced childhood trauma and their experience early in life has created a lifetime of significant issues trying to bury and avoid the pain. There was a time I felt good when one person had healing but currently the left line voices are yelling help one and there are thousands of others being created. The voice goes on to say why strive to be like a creator that allows people to be buried in a hellish nightmare from start of life? I feel both angry at the Creator for their plight and guilty that I have been awarded a spiritual desire. I continue the practices of study and staying in the Kabu environment but it seems this is not attracting the corrective light. Am I doing something wrong or need to do more or do different?
I am unsure of how to form this question but please take in context of a desire for change. In this week’s reading,
“There is none else besides the Creator.” We have to decide this every moment of our lives, being certain that He is good that does good, meaning, we justify Him in all His actions.
This is the very first condition with which the science of Kabbalah begins, with the article “There Is None Else Besides Him,” and all that is required of us on the path is to establish only this. ”
I recognize the text goes on to state this will be done in a group of 10. I am very far from this beginning principle, I am not feeling the connection from the videos others speak of, I pray to have this awaken within me, I work on my intention, but deep inside there is a strong resistence. Do I need to be in a better state before moving on to group work? I fear, as I am now, I have nothing to give the other. Is this point in the heart really awakened in me or am I just filling an intellectual desire? Confusion is setting in!
I imagine it feels like spiritual collective synergy opening the gathering vessel to receive immense pleasure from the Creator.
Contemplating this answer I realize my questions to all my questions:
What is freedom?
What is, there is none else besides Him?
Answers from forums have seem to come in form of:
The answers will be revealed in degrees connected with spiritual degree attained.
So the one important question for me is, can I work with the left line doubt while in a group of 10 to build screen that will lead to crossing the barrier to the spiritual bottom degree? A crossing that will bring revelation of Nature’s system, which is the desire question of, what is the purpose of this life?
