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I have gained a deeper understanding of how I often, seemingly, chose the path of suffering in my life, even though I, intellectually, knew “better” — and how the consequences — the suffering taught me to make better choices because I distanced, in my perception, myself from the Creator, but also the experience gave me an enlightened perspective. I have understood this in a preliminary way, and I have always believed that the Creator’s character is love and bestowal. Humans bring suffering and God leads us through suffering.
I did not choose my birth family — which brought me both love and suffering; but, Adonai led me and taught me through that experience as well. I do not hear, in Kabbalah, that the fallen angelic beings are forces at work in this world. If, indeed, our corporate egoism, alone, is the only force to be overcome — this is new. It seems closer to the Yetzer Hara vs the Yetzer Ha Tov. I will be looking for “the devil and Satan, that old serpent– the dragon– who roams the earth like a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour” — and whether he exists in the W. of K.
I have at times felt or seen what I perceived as the creator in other people. I see this when I responded to an impulse to give to a person that I do not know. I see in a random homeless person what looked like the shining blue eyes of God himself looking back at me, or received a hug that felt like the embrace of God. In the New Testament, The Messiah says “As you have done unto the least of my people, you have done unto me.” The feelings or perceptions of God’s presence in these random people always elicits phenomenal emotional and spiritual responses in me.
This week, I have understood that these were the beginnings of what it is like to clothe the will to receive with the intention to bestow — glimpses of the unity with the Creator that I have been seeking since early childhood. The point in my heart has been driving me toward the Wisdom of Kabbalah through many contacts with it throughout the course of this life. I have been seeking the unity of souls that the Apostle Paul adhered his teaching toward, but have never been able to feel the desire fulfilled fully in any of the communities I have served in. I am a teacher by passion, and thus have loved attaining and bestowing knowledge much more than my students enjoy receiving it. I am so overjoyed to be finally receiving this wisdom including the idea of one shattered soul that longs to return to unity with the Creator. I am working to absorb this. Thank you to all of you for the bestowal!
Thank you, Seth, This is EXACTLY what I am seeking!
“After the correction the creation which is the matter called will to receive has changed its form to receive in order to bestow and then its quality, bestowal, is the same quality of the Creator, and they become as one.”
Sincerely from the Point in My Heart,
Deborah
To what perception of reality do we want the study of Kabbalah to lead us?
Einstein is reported to have said that the physical body and the limitations of its senses gives us the illusion or delusion that we are all separate — when in fact we are all connected — part of the wholeness of the energy field. I am drawn to this idea of oneness with the Creator and the Created that is beyond the limitation of human perception. I want to gain the eyes to see, ears to hear, and the heart to understand and obtain the perception of the Oneness — to abide in the Oneness and the Oneness abides in me. My desire is to perceive the spiritual reality that is beyond the endless pursuits of this life, none of which truly fulfill my desire. I want to experience the loving altruism of the Creator and be transformed into what I am truly meant to be, to know and understand what I am meant to know and understand. Many hints have led me here over the course of my 62 trips around the sun. I want to do only the will of the Creator now, to think and to act in accordance with the Creator’s purpose. I want to reflect my Creator’s intention and likeness in this world and to help others find the way home on this journey we call life.
I am seeking the knowledge that will fulfill my heart’s desire; to truly connect with God, my Creator, and to receive the awareness of His Presence working in and through me… connecting me with His Presence within those around me. I want to know and realize my soul’s work.
