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To attain faith above reason leading to devekut(permanently (so that I don’t blemish God’s Providence (currently I am where I see darkness or contradictions yet know my path is Lishma(I want to have permanent faith above reason and to bestow using faith above reason and sensitivity of Faith within my vessels not reception for pleasures (even illumination i get must not please but cause me devekut(to raise the world’s for all people even if they can’t know(ultimate Bestowal (
I want to attain spirituality which is my calling as Israel is to Cross barrier towards next degree of evolving towards His thought.i want to stay in There is none Else on sensation not ideally.,
To serve without feeling that I want something yet knowing I am made to enjoy existence only if it pleases God..that I am accepting his gift,. May we all find our true roots
AmenReading the Freedom Article created new difficulties for my emotions.. Threw me off the radar for some days and I felt like we are in Prison of existence which seems unnecessary at First.. But I grasp the only light of escape or freedom is intention only.nothing can change. My character is unchanged. I didn’t choose anything. I can only choose books,teacher and the group…
The goal is Faith above reason and we are told god made us to enjoy. The construction of the kli is an enormous task..how do I receive for God really (this is a difficult mountain to climb) To decide NY yourself or to feel it..when to say it is just to work.when does it fall off the path? How to resolve suffering that endlessly torture me? My family pains? How do one come home? Shamati is a great key but the hierarchy of forces are relentlessly painful.. I determine to walk along but I fall on my face again. Shame of suffering and facing responsibilities in life.. May god give me mercy to overcome my state..all I can do is pray..learning is easy but attaining is difficult.. May all find that one rope to loft you out of yourself and pray we also reach that door together..
