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To see it from His perspective if I could, it will answer the question: What is the purpose of our lives? What is His reasons for creation? Why the concealment? When will He show Himself to us, if ever? Not knowing, the curse of the doubt that descends on us about His existence, is it a punishment, a teaching tool, or both?
Sadly, I am unable and cannot see reality from his perspective as I am told that I have been created with a built in flaw (the evil inclination) and concealment that I have to reveal.  Those who have attained and revealed the concealment say that what they see is nothing but pure LOVE. Since I am unable to see and feel that yet, it means, I have lots of corrections and lots of praying ahead of me.
Loving one’s neighbor more than loving oneself, is a lot easier said than done. There, I said it, I hope I cheered everybody up! Now I need a scotch.
My goal in the study is to find the Purpose of life, mine and everyone else. Why are we here? Where do we go when we die? What is this life about? When I gaze at these galaxies and their age, the solar system and how it was formed, I find myself but a speck of dust in comparison. All the religions that I read about, all the philosophies that I pondered fell short of filling my desire to learn the purpose of life.
For those of us who are stuck at the fourth factor by showing great resistance to choose the environment that they sense it is the right soil but hit a wall (meaning joining the ten);Â Is this a problem with the seed (the individual not having Equivalence of Form) or the environment being too strict (requiring to join a ten on order to find the purpose of life)?
I find it a lot easier to join the whole Bina Baruch group, but feel choked to connect to just 10 people in it. What is the source of this tremendous resistance? Is the Creator asking me to let go as I do not fit? Or is He asking me to stay and develop this way? Honestly, I do not expect an answer to this part, I am just airing frustration with the Creator to answer my prayers to either fish or cut bait.
To me freedom is a sense of inner peace which is very difficult to reach, hold on to, and eventually achieve.
On one hand, it is very comforting to accept that all the pain I say around the world comes from Him and for a reason, so it is not my responsibility to do anything about it. So the comfort comes accepting which is very hard to do.  On the other hand, if I see all this pain and He is only a loving, bestowing entity toward His creatures, then that leads me to realize what I sense as pain is actually Him kicking me from behind to do lots of corrections. Now I wish He can answer my prayers and let me know how to stop seeing all this world pain and see His loving guidance toward his creatures as I learned in the first course.
I often wondered if life was created so it is to be a Reformatory school for the Souls by merging them into a body with TOO many egoistic needs. Those who succeed in controlling the ego get out of the reformatory school which is life.
