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Realizing that this is like a dream and we can choose to wake up by understanding that everything that is good can only be achieved through doing the opposite of what the stories of this world appear to depict on their surface. That everything consciously chosen and understood must replace everything we passively accepted as true without examination.
I was thinking about this question and it seems like the difference is that in a religion there’s a middle man telling you what’s what about reality and “(hearsay) about divinity.
Kabbalah is a system of protocols to discover for yourself and so far every protocol I’ve been able to implement had precisely the result they described.
When I read about the concept of “the left rejects” it makes me wonder if a material consequence of this function in the spiritual world is what causes all my sensitivities and allergies. My whole life seems to be composed of trying things that work fine for everyone else, and discovering that I can’t use them. There are very few foods I can eat without problems. I’m sensitive to a lot of drugs. I am a “sensory defensive,” meaning I can’t function in most environments. I can’t tolerate most people’s entertainment… it gives me tics and nightmares. And I adore people, but they have little use for me since I can’t partake in most of what they do in life. So I mostly take a role of observe and emotional support from a distance, instead of having active relationships.
It’s like I am backed into a tiny corner of reality. I like my corner a lot. But it’s minuscule compared to what most people seem able to experience and consume.
Is this a side effect of “the left rejects?”
It helps me to think about stories I’ve read or seen that are believable and relatable, where something seemingly horrible happened and it ended up being necessary for the best possible outcome. My very favorite storylines have a character who started out as the villain, and did horrible things and horrible things happened to them, but they changed as they went along and turned into the hero in the end. Sometimes the characters remind me of how I was or things I did when I was a teenager. When I look at people around me who didn’t go through anything like that when they were young they seem to be stuck in a thinner reality that’s boring to them and they feel aimless. It seems probable that the difficulties are the direct cause of what’s good about my life now. I think this might be true on a collective scale too.
I try to think of those concepts when I’m trying to understand how I could 100% agree with this reality if I understood the underpinnings of it.I’m struggling to find the delineation between “food” and the wallowing in filth metaphor.
I understand that what the Creator provides to fill our base needs and make it possible for us to study is food. But, for example, if I listen to Kabbalah videos for several hours and get to a point where I feel like my brain is tired and wants to turn off, and then I go listen to a sci-fi audio book that I’ve listened to 5 times before and I just enjoy it… or sit in front of the TV or something. Is that food or filth?
I understand it’s not saying the filth is particularly evil, just unproductive. Do we need to strive for everything that goes into your senses to be productive at all times? That is exhausting when I have little conception yet of what I’m striving for. I only get it on an abstract imaginary level with few details of personal attainment.
Am I working towards a constant desire to connect to others and the Creator, or is it something that I am supposed to be trying to force myself to do right now?
