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The concept of ‘love thy neighbour as thyself’ is something that I have known – in its intellectual state. If I can be disappointingly truthful, I have never deeply known/ felt/ lived this truth. I see I have at times- with the help of my ego – told myself that I have but now when I play it through me it is not so. I have been on a spiritual quest my whole life but now through working with kabalah in this way, I feel I have just played a game with myself for a very long time and dont feel like any of it has been real. This journey had made me confused , shaky , unsure and yet there is a strong sense of determination to keep reaching. What do I do with my state? I keep thinking sit with it, just sit with it and keep on. Is it enough?
My role is to be committed to the attainment of ascent, to see people and the natural world around me as part of the oneness of all and to be aware of my reactions to and actions towards everything in my enviroment in a way that honors the highest in me. My role is to identify the ego in my actions and constantly strive to move beyond it.
Queli I am so grateful for your post as it described exactly what I have been feeling, After reading and listening to it all I just felt as though I truly don’t see the point of any of it and felt confused and  demoralised. I have been sitting with the feeling and Seth s answer did a lot to shift things for me . (Thank you Seth). I just kept sitting in it and after Tony s two videos something shifted again. I realised that I want it enough to keep pushing through, It feels as though I am climbing a very steep mountain, I can’t even see the top. I want to cry about it but I am going to continue. I see my emotions are both ego based and a result of my desire for a ‘quick fix’ and I have to just be through it.
To reach a place where I can feel an interconnectedness with all around me and for this to allow me to get closer to the Creator. This will be the fulfillment of my purpose here.
Would my understanding be correct by thinking that we have no free will and firstly, that free will lies in the wanting to grow the point in our heart and that secondly, free will occurs in how we respond to a given situation?
